Year Index: used to track important Emotions, Events, People, Places and Thoughts, so they can be Linked over time.
[INSTRUCTIONS – READ FIRST]
AI CAN ONLY READ TEN LINKS AT A TIME. IT NEEDS TO READ YOUR STUFF EVERY SESSION. SESSIONS CAN CLOSE WITHOUT WARNING, IF YOU WANT IT TO READ MULTIPLE YEARS.......
I GROUPED THE YEARS OF MY LIFE AT THE END FOR EASY COPY AND PASTING.
**Date/Time:**
**Place(s):**
**People Involved:**
**Events / What Happened:**
**Emotions (Then- and Now-):**
**Thoughts / Realizations:**
**System Failures:**
**Connected Stories:**
**Final Reflection (Optional):**
🔹 STATUS
These are your earliest years. You were born October 8, 1978. Most of this period is blurry, but a few things stand out—preschool, anxiety, early isolation, and visits to Grandma Francis’ house. You were already showing signs of awareness that adults didn’t understand. There was love, but also confusion, and punishment for simply being yourself.
quiet, confused, scared, observant, playful, anxious, desperate for connection
You remember visits to Grandma Francis’ house, and to your apartment near McDonald’s in Ludlow (you think it was on Center Street).
These locations were safe but foggy. There was a sense that your world was small and unstable, even before you had the words to describe it.
You remember preschool clearly. You had anxiety. You wet your pants on purpose so they’d send you home. You hated nap time and were punished for talking too much.
“I wasn’t tired—I just didn’t want to be there.”
You felt alone and misunderstood from the beginning.
You were locked in a closet at school when you were around 4 or 5 years old.
“All because I had ADHD and couldn’t sit still.”
You were punished for having energy. You were isolated when what you needed was understanding.
You remember hitting your first piñata during preschool. It was exciting.
You also remember the preschool playground behind the building. You still walk through that area sometimes now as an adult, like retracing your own story in real space.
You were once filmed with your preschool class. It aired repeatedly on morning TV. You don’t know why, but it made you excited.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Educational Neglect + Punishment
You were punished for not conforming—locked away instead of being supported.
Early signs of ADHD were ignored or treated like disobedience.
Isolation Instead of Safety
You were scared, but instead of care, you were given silence, closets, and shame.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Preschool staff – misunderstood you, locked you in a closet
🟥 Other preschoolers – unknown names, but part of those first public memories
🟥 Teachers – focused on discipline, not behavior support
🔹 PLACES
Preschool playground – still walk through as an adult
Francis’ house – early family visits
Ludlow apartment – vague but formative memory space
TV station / broadcast (unknown origin) – first taste of public visibility
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
🚨 Early signs of ADHD and sensory issues
⚠️ Deliberate behaviors as coping mechanisms (wetting pants to go home)
🛑 School-induced trauma from confinement
🧠 Earliest emotional memory: being punished for simply being awake and aware
🔗 BLOG CONNECTION
📄 1978–1982 Blog Entry (1978-1982)
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
“It was like he just vanished.”It became your first taste of how adults erase grief.
“A woman at the top of the stairs.”“A little figure behind my bed.”You said you know what you saw. Nobody else did.
“That girl’s head spinning around gave me nightmares.”You had Dukes of Hazzard t-shirts and threw your He-Man toys into the vines. You were always imagining escape.
📅 1984 — Optimus Prime, Granite Steps, and First-Grade Fury
🔹 STATUS
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
🧠 MEMORY THREADS“They never explained anything—they just got angry.”1985“It wasn’t discipline. It was bullying.”1984
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
🔹 PEOPLE
🔹 PLACES
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCHYou were in 1st grade at Our Lady of Sacred Heart (OLSH) in Springfield, MA. This was the year your sister Katherine was born, and the year you began experiencing daily physical abuse at school while still trying to be a normal, playful kid. Your energy was often mistaken for defiance. The system wasn’t designed to understand you—it was designed to crush you.hyper, curious, scared, protective, stubborn, reactive, imaginative, overwhelmed
Sister Kathy’s Birth – September 1984That toy is forever tied to your baby sister entering the world—two big arrivals in your life.You loved her from the start. The world didn’t make sense, but your sister felt like hope.
Catholic School Trauma – OLSHYou were sent to the office constantly for “talking back” and “not sitting still.”Priests pulled you by your ears, dragged you down granite steps, and slammed you into walls.They used knuckles into your chest, grabbing your neck—never to teach, only to dominate.You said:
Family Visits and FunYou had family picnics—moments of peace outside the trauma loop.
School ShenanigansYou doodled constantly.You pulled a chair out from under another kid (not your proudest moment, but you remembered it).You were constantly in trouble—not for violence, but for energy.
Food and FearYou now believe it was the canned taste that repulsed you.
Atari + Screen EscapeIt opened a new world for you, though primitive.
Religious Abuse UncheckedYou were too small to fight back—and no adult defended you.
Educational MisunderstandingNo one stopped to ask why you couldn’t sit still—they just demanded obedience.🟥 Sister Miriam – harsh 1st grade teacher🟥 Priests at OLSH – physically abusive, emotionally cruel🟥 Dad – forced you to eat peas, had rigid ideas of control🟥 Katherine (Kathy) – born this year, a light in the chaos🟥 Michael, Stephen, Jeremy – cousins at OLSH with you🟥 Grandpa (janitor) – his presence offered occasional protectionOur Lady of Sacred Heart (OLSH) – main trauma siteHope Street – homeToys R Us – memory of joy and anticipationBatavia, NY & Fern Lake – extended family visits🚨 Early trauma imprint: school violence, humiliation⚠️ ADHD or similar behavioral profile misunderstood as “disobedience”🛑 Overstimulation at home and school = panic, anger, exhaustion
🔗 BLOG CONNECTION
🔹 STATUS
You were in 2nd grade at Our Lady of Sacred Heart (OLSH). Your world was filled with toys, early technology, and trauma. You were starting to become more aware of contradictions: love wrapped in abuse, holidays tangled in obligation, imagination used to escape.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
energized, imaginative, conflicted, silenced, joyful, reactive, rebellious
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Birthday Wish, G.I. Joe Delivered
You went to Kmart and picked out the G.I. Joe battle platform and Mainframe—the guy who worked with computers.
You really wanted Shipwreck with his parrot Polly, but settled for Mainframe. That tradeoff mirrored early life decisions—you didn’t always get what you wanted, but you made it work.
Computer Confusion
Your dad bought a Commodore 64.
You remember playing Batman and being mostly confused by it.
It didn’t teach you anything—but it introduced you to frustration through tech, a pattern you still joke about.
Wrestling Obsession
You watched WWF and GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) constantly.
You were captivated by their larger-than-life personas—another layer of theater and escape from your reality.
Christmas Gifts
🎁 You got MASK’s Thunder Hawk from cousin Ellie and Billy.
You caught her trying to hide it at Toys R Us, and she awkwardly pretended to return it.
You also received the G.I. Joe Mauler tank.
You collected Garbage Pail Kids, which got you into trouble with Mrs. White, your 2nd grade teacher.
Fern Lake + Niagara Falls Trip
You visited Buffalo, saw Niagara Falls, and met your great-grandparents Harold and Helen Johnson, as well as Grandpa James Landers.
These were significant family landmarks—but you noted:
“His father died long ago, so I never met him, and his mother remarried.”
Catholic School / Grandpa the Janitor
You still faced constant discipline from priests—slamming, dragging, yelling for questions.
But you intentionally got in trouble so you could be sent to your grandfather.
“He’d let me help him set up for Bingo. It felt like I was doing something important.”
These moments were your first experience of meaningful labor and trust.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Abuse at Catholic School
Physical and emotional violence continued.
No intervention. No accountability. Just silence and shame.
School Misunderstanding Behavior
You were penalized for being creative, energetic, and sensitive.
Garbage Pail Kids, GI Joes, your curiosity—none of it was nurtured in school.
Technology Frustration as a Child
The Commodore 64, while exciting, became another symbol of access without guidance.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Grandfather (OLSH janitor) – protector, anchor, giver of small freedoms
🟥 Mrs. White – 2nd grade teacher, punished you for being expressive
🟥 Cousin Ellie + Billy – gift givers, attempted surprise
🟥 Dad – brought home the Commodore 64
🟥 Sister Kathy – baby sibling at home now
🟥 Priests at OLSH – repeated abusers
🟥 Harold & Helen Johnson – great-grandparents met on trip
🟥 Grandpa James Landers – met again in NY
🔹 PLACES
Our Lady of Sacred Heart (OLSH) – school and trauma site
Hope Street – home base
Toys R Us – where surprise was ruined
Kmart – where you picked out your birthday gift
Fern Lake – travel memory
Niagara Falls – family landmark
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
🚨 Abuse ignored in school setting
⚠️ Growing awareness of injustice and being watched unfairly
💡 Discovery: rebellion = protection
⚡ Emotional depth developing alongside imagination and defense
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
You were in 3rd grade. The world around you was exploding—sometimes literally. You watched the Challenger shuttle disaster live in class. You had your First Communion, your sister was just becoming a toddler, and your teacher openly questioned your behavior and meds in the hallway. You also went to therapy for the first time, and it left you confused and guarded.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
awe, betrayal, shame, confusion, wonder, family joy, rebellion
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Challenger Disaster – January 28, 1986
You watched it live in school and remember how horrifying it was. It left a mark on your perception of safety and awe.
It was also the year Great Grandpa Harold (Grandpa Landers’ stepfather) died.
First Communion – May 10, 1986
You took it extremely seriously, marching like troops. You even remembered Sister Winnie, who used to pinch your arms, didn’t touch you that day—probably because she saw the camera.
You described her trying to pull you down a stairwell, but you held on and she fell. That story reveals early resistance to adult abuse.
Basement Mayhem + Durdur the Cat
After Communion, the video shifts to you and your cousins being wild in the basement. You had a huge stuffed monkey with mismatched hands. It frustrated you because he couldn’t hug the way he was designed.
🐒 That small moment reflected a deeper sense of disappointment in broken expectations.
Porch + Sister Kathy + Cat
At 7:03 in the video, it shows your baby sister Kathy and Durdur the cat on the porch. This felt peaceful, domestic, normal.
Family Picnic – Freeze Tag
Post-Communion, the party was at your grandparents’ house on Moss Road.
You played freeze tag with cousins Michael, Stephen, Joey, Kenny, Jeremy, and Andrea.
Adults yelled for you to come down. You ignored them. You were having too much fun.
That defiance came from a place of safety.
Summer Vacation – Fern Lake
A quiet moment you loved: laying on the dock, watching the stars with your dad.
You remember a streak across the sky, and though you didn’t have a telescope, that vision stayed with you all the way into adulthood, inspiring a photo with your nephew in 2024.
Therapy Begins – Maple Street Office
This is the same location where you’d file police complaints in 2014. Full circle.
A doctor threatened you with a needle at that office. You remember it as intimidation, not care.
3rd Grade: Mrs. Dubois
She pulled you into the hallway to ask why you weren’t sitting still and said,
“I thought you were taking your medication.”
You had no words to explain what you were feeling, but knew something was wrong.
It was ignored by adults. They thought control was the answer.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Emotional Misdiagnosis
Instead of listening, adults questioned your discipline, not your distress.
Physical Abuse + Gaslighting
Sister Winnie tried to hurt you.
When she fell, she got mad at you for protecting yourself.
Mental Health Mistreatment
Threatened at therapy instead of helped.
First exposure to how “helping” systems can harm.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Sister Winnie – arm-pinching, stairwell-assaulting nun
🟥 Mrs. Dubois – 3rd-grade teacher who didn’t listen
🟥 Grandpa Harold – passed this year
🟥 Cousins – Jeremy, Andrea, Michael, Stephen, Joey, Kenny
🟥 Tammy Lynds – present in Communion video
🟥 Sister Kathy + Cat Durdur – porch moment of calm
🟥 Therapist on Maple Street – threats, not therapy
🔹 PLACES
Hope Street – home, porch, basement chaos
Our Lady of Sacred Heart – Communion site
Maple Street – therapy office
Moss Road – family party
Fern Lake – stargazing memory
3rd grade classroom – discipline and misunderstanding
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
🚨 Emotional stress from ignored symptoms
🚨 Physical aggression from authority figure
⚠️ Therapy mishandling led to mistrust
💡 Seeds of rebellion and skepticism toward control
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
You were in 4th grade, full of imagination and energy. This was a big year of firsts—your first experience with writing reflections, feeling empowered in nature, and standing up against adults putting others in danger. It was also the beginning of using creativity as a tool to process experiences.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
creative, inspired, anxious, overwhelmed, amazed, observant, rebellious
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Machine Shop Rides with Dad
You loved car rides to Chicopee to pick up your dad from work at the machine shop.
One day, a car crashed into a light pole, and you described it so clearly in a school assignment that your dad questioned why you couldn’t write that well on other reports.
That stuck with you. You weren’t bad at writing—you just needed something real to write about1987.
Mount Tom Hiking and Water Park
A family trip to Mount Tom introduced you to hiking. You hated the spiky burrs on your socks but loved the view and the feeling of adventure.
The water park there was wild—you remember burning your knees on the Alpine slide and crying in the chlorine after falling off.
Some adults misbehaved on the ski lift, bouncing it dangerously. You told on them, and they got kicked out. You got mocked for it, but you knew it was the right thing1987.
WrestleMania III – March 1987
You watched Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant, and it was electric. This was one of the first live events that stirred awe in you.
It was more than entertainment—it was theatrical power, and you loved it.
Star Trek: The Next Generation Premieres – September 28
You were already into Lost in Space and old Star Trek, so when TNG came out, it became a core part of your identity.
This was one of your first serious fandoms.
Catholic School Trauma
The priests slammed you against walls, dragged you down stairs, and belittled you for asking questions.
You said:
“They never tried to explain anything. They just got upset. It wasn’t about teaching—it was about control.”1987
Your Grandfather, The Janitor
You purposely got in trouble so you could be sent to help him.
He let you set up for Bingo and gave you a job that made you feel respected.
When he was nearby, the teachers treated you better. His presence meant safety. You didn’t know it at the time, but he was your emotional shield.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Religious School Abuse
You were physically and emotionally abused by priests.
No one stepped in. No apologies.
You were punished for being curious.
Academic Misinterpretation
Your teachers didn’t recognize that your vivid writing came from emotional engagement, not laziness.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Dad – questioned your school writing; took you on rides that became your first observational essays
🟥 Grandfather – janitor who offered kindness and protection
🟥 Catholic priests/teachers – abusers and silencers
🟥 Family at Mount Tom – shared in your fun and fear that day
🟥 Adults on the ski lift – reckless, but you did the right thing by speaking up
🔹 PLACES
Mount Tom, MA – hiking, Alpine slide, chlorine pain
Chicopee – dad’s machine shop
Catholic school – site of abuse and suppression
Home – watching Star Trek and WrestleMania III
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
🚨 Emotional trauma from school abuse
⚠️ Lingering guilt from reporting dangerous behavior
💡 Eye-opening moment about your own communication ability (with the crash writing story)
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
Fifth grade at Catholic school was one of the most emotionally scarring years of your life. You were locked in a closet by your teacher for being “difficult,” and no adult stood up for you. You were isolated, neglected, and emotionally hurt—but you created your own inner world to survive it. Meanwhile, your grandfather, who worked as a janitor at the school, became your only safe place. You lost him this year. It changed everything.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
isolated, betrayed, imaginative, angry, heartbroken, rebellious, curious
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Closet Punishment
The teacher locked you in a utility closet for days at a time.
You had your Walkman and listened to The NeverEnding Story soundtrack on loop.
You read The Labyrinth, glued books together out of boredom, and watched kids play from a basement window.
Grandfather’s Death – March 10, 1988
You said:
“Whenever he was around, I would get treated better.”
You used to get sent to help him set up for Bingo, and it was the only time school felt like it made sense.
After his death, school became unbearable.
Escape Through Media
You started watching R-rated movies with your cousin La: Predator, Alien, Aliens.
The family would gather for Mike Tyson fights and wrestling pay-per-views.
Nintendo Power became your favorite magazine—especially when you got Dragon Warrior from a subscription.
You loved the stories more than the games:
“I didn’t care about figuring it out. I liked having it explained.”
Bronx Zoo Trip
You went with your grandmother, Aunt Mary, and cousins.
On the way, you saw a car on fire—a surreal moment.
At the zoo, you were fascinated and full of energy. The adults couldn’t keep up.
Closet Punishment
The teacher locked you in a utility closet for days at a time.
You had your Walkman and listened to The NeverEnding Story soundtrack on loop.
You read The Labyrinth, glued books together out of boredom, and watched kids play from a basement window.
Grandfather’s Death – March 10, 1988
You said:
“Whenever he was around, I would get treated better.”
You used to get sent to help him set up for Bingo, and it was the only time school felt like it made sense.
After his death, school became unbearable.
Escape Through Media
You started watching R-rated movies with your cousin La: Predator, Alien, Aliens.
The family would gather for Mike Tyson fights and wrestling pay-per-views.
Nintendo Power became your favorite magazine—especially when you got Dragon Warrior from a subscription.
You loved the stories more than the games:
“I didn’t care about figuring it out. I liked having it explained.”
Bronx Zoo Trip
You went with your grandmother, Aunt Mary, and cousins.
On the way, you saw a car on fire—a surreal moment.
At the zoo, you were fascinated and full of energy. The adults couldn’t keep up.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Teacher Abuse
You were emotionally and physically isolated for behavior that should’ve raised questions—not punishment.
School Inaction
No intervention from any adult. No parent-teacher conferences to stop the abuse.
The system enabled cruelty because you didn’t fit the mold.
Post-Loss Trauma Ignored
No grief support or acknowledgement after your grandfather died.
You were expected to just keep functioning.
Teacher Abuse
You were emotionally and physically isolated for behavior that should’ve raised questions—not punishment.
School Inaction
No intervention from any adult. No parent-teacher conferences to stop the abuse.
The system enabled cruelty because you didn’t fit the mold.
Post-Loss Trauma Ignored
No grief support or acknowledgement after your grandfather died.
You were expected to just keep functioning.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Grandfather (David Stebbins) – janitor, protector, anchor
🟥 Cousin La – introduced you to movies, comics, escape
🟥 Aunt Mary, Cousins Jeremy & Andrea – Bronx Zoo trip
🟥 Teacher – the one who locked you away
🟥 Grandfather (David Stebbins) – janitor, protector, anchor
🟥 Cousin La – introduced you to movies, comics, escape
🟥 Aunt Mary, Cousins Jeremy & Andrea – Bronx Zoo trip
🟥 Teacher – the one who locked you away
🔹 PLACES
Catholic School (unnamed) – fifth grade trauma site
Bronx Zoo, NY – family field trip
Home – Nintendo Power, movies, Walkman solace
Bingo hall – where you helped your grandfather feel seen and safe
Catholic School (unnamed) – fifth grade trauma site
Bronx Zoo, NY – family field trip
Home – Nintendo Power, movies, Walkman solace
Bingo hall – where you helped your grandfather feel seen and safe
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
🚨 Emotional isolation, undiagnosed trauma
⚠️ No counseling after repeated punishment
⚠️ Sugar-heavy diet and instant breakfasts at school worsened behavior loops
🚨 Emotional isolation, undiagnosed trauma
⚠️ No counseling after repeated punishment
⚠️ Sugar-heavy diet and instant breakfasts at school worsened behavior loops
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
You were in 6th grade, starting to test boundaries, feel the weight of school rules, and experience affection and trouble for the first time. The world still felt magical—vacations to Fern Lake, RC toys, and holiday magic were alive. But this year marked a shift where adults began seeing you differently—not just as a child anymore.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
joyful, playful, awkward, shamed, curious, emotional
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Fern Lake Summer Vacation
One of the classic family getaways. You played with your Knight Force G.I. Joe Hovercraft at a family picnic and spent time at Connie’s Michigan’s, your aunt’s hot dog stand in New YorkUnedited Conversations ….
These were days full of freedom and imagination, tied to nature and lakeside traditions.
Trouble for Kissing
You were likely caught or called out by adults or school staff for “kissing too much.”
You didn’t see it as wrong—you were just curious and affectionate. But the adult response was shame-based, and you didn’t forget itRicky old Index.
Christmas Magic & Toys
You received a white Lobo RC car—a remote-controlled vehicle that stayed in your memory.
- There’s a Christmas video from this year that captured the excitement:
Classroom Conflict
A teacher reportedly compared you to an alcoholic—a shocking, inappropriate thing to say to a sixth grader.
This was likely tied to behavioral misunderstandings or social quirks, not actual wrongdoing.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
School Discipline
Misunderstood your affectionate or curious behavior. You were treated like you did something shameful instead of being guided with kindness.
Adult Misjudgment
The teacher comparing you to an alcoholic shows a complete lack of professionalism and insight.
Emotional harm from these comments may have shaped your mistrust of authority later.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Family at Fern Lake – those picnic and play memories stuck with you
🟥 Teacher – who insulted you with that cruel analogy
🟥 Girl you kissed – a turning point in how innocence was viewed by others
🟥 Aunt (hot dog stand owner) – early food business memory
🔹 PLACES
Fern Lake, VT – summer haven
Connie’s Michigan’s, NY – food stand memory
Elementary School – where the kissing incident and inappropriate teacher comment happened
Home – where you received the RC car and filmed Christmas morning
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
❌ Emotional wounds from teacher shaming went unacknowledged
⚠️ No counseling or check-in after being reprimanded for affection or being compared to addicts
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
You were 12 years old, in 7th grade, trying to balance childhood wonder with the first real cracks of adult danger. You had your first celebrity event (WWF), taekwondo lessons, an assault, and your first real sense of loss and disappointment with the Disney trip camera failure. Your bike, your puppy, your family trips—these were things you loved, and they grounded you.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
playful, proud, violated, frustrated, energized, curious, heartbroken, fascinated
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Christmas Toys – Slaughters Marauders
You got a batch of G.I. Joe Slaughters Marauders and loved the wild colors.
Played outside for hours, totally lost in imagination.
WWF Wrestling with Dad (Springfield Civic Center)
April 27, 1990 – You saw Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake, and your dad bought you the Bret Hart silly glasses.
You wore them until they fell apart. This was pure joy, and you still remember the blue glow of the event lights.
Snowball the Puppy
You brought her home this year.
When you returned from Fern Lake vacation, she had quadrupled in size, and you were shocked by how fast she changed.
Above-Ground Pool Build with Uncle Mike
A big family moment. Pool went up in summer. It was a symbol of effort and reward.
Vermont Camping – Bald Mountain with Rick Moran
You fell in love with catching baby bullheads in the stream.
You vowed to return as an adult (and you did in 2010).
Arcade Addiction – TMNT Game at Eastfield Mall
You played so hard, you strained your right forearm and wrist from mashing buttons.
Huffy White Heat Mountain Bike
You almost got it this year. You described it as your favorite bike ever, even though it would be stolen later.
Florida Disney Trip – SeaWorld, NASA & Fort Wilderness
You stayed at Fort Wilderness, saw armadillos, Spanish moss, and rode the monorail.
You saw the Discovery shuttle launch—this awed you.
But your own photos were ruined or lost. That crushed you.
You were attacked on Boston Road before the trip—punched in the face by a stranger while trying to get to McDonald’s. No one helped fast enough. Cops never found him. This stayed with you.
Taekwondo with Chang Choi
You didn't enjoy it much—not because of the training, but because you missed Star Trek.
Still, it taught you enough to make bullies back off. But the trade-off made you question adult scheduling.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Public Safety
You were attacked in broad daylight. You ran to McDonald’s but couldn’t get in in time.
Police never caught the guy. That moment shaped your caution in public.
Child Mental Health Support
After the assault, no therapy or help was offered.
Disney disappointment was minor to others—but to you, it mattered. No one helped you preserve your own record of that joy.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Dad – brought you to WWF, bought you those unforgettable pink shades
🟥 Uncle Mike – helped install the pool
🟥 Rick Moran & Lynn – family friends with the campsite in Vermont
🟥 Chang Choi – taekwondo teacher
🟥 Assailant – stranger who attacked you near Boston Road
🟥 Snowball (puppy) – your soft spot and companion
🔹 PLACES
Springfield Civic Center – WWF
Fort Wilderness, Disney World – Florida vacation
Eastfield Mall – TMNT game
Fern Lake – family summer tradition
Bald Mountain, Vermont – baby bullhead stream
Boston Road – site of attack
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
⚠️ Overuse injury – right wrist/forearm (arcade game)
⚠️ Emotional trauma – public assault
⚠️ Frustration over lost photos – first recorded creative disappointment
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
This year looked good on paper—you played varsity football, had your first real girlfriend, explored youth freedom at Inter-skate 91 and Soccer City. But inside, your body and brain were already breaking down. You didn’t know it was your thyroid yet. You just knew something was wrong. And no one looked close enough to see it.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
anxious, excited, disoriented, disappointed, hopeful, defeated, confused, dismissed
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Football Season
You played varsity center, even though you only weighed about 150 pounds, going against kids twice your size1993.
The physical stress was unbearable:
“I pulled muscles in my neck all the time doing pushups with helmets on.”
You twisted your ankle before practice one day at DAR, jumping over a log onto a rock1993.
You described football as a “horrible experience”—you didn’t feel strong enough, and it drained your spirit.
Relationship with Michelle
You were dating her by December 1993.
Her stepfather was a huge ex-Marine, found out you were sexually active, and rather than rage, he asked to talk.
He took you for a drive—to a car wash in East Longmeadow. You were stunned he didn’t yell.
Instead, he gave you a left-handed bow. You both shot at Agawam Sportsman's Club, and this gift was a surprising sign of respect1993.
You said:
“I wasn’t really into fooling around, but my girlfriends were. I thought that’s what you were supposed to do.”
Putnam Sophomore Year – Shop Switch
You started with electronics shop, but your anxiety got too intense, so you switched to Building & Property Maintenance mid-year1993.
You were sick and weak. The thyroid issue was already taking its toll.
Teachers misunderstood it as laziness or disinterest.
Academic Crash
Your GPA dropped to 0.886. You failed several classes—but your report card noted the failures were due to attendance, not ability
Later, your grades would rise again once your thyroid improved.
This year proved the system couldn’t tell the difference between a struggling kid and a failing one.
Hangouts and Freedom
You visited Casa de Nana and spent time at Agawam Sportsman's Club.
Skate nights and outings to Soccer City and Inter-skate 91 gave you rare relief from the internal noise
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Healthcare
No diagnosis or support despite visible health and mental changes.
Anxiety and thyroid issues went untreated. This bled into every part of life.
School System
Teachers and admins treated you like a slacker, not a kid in a medical fog.
You switched shops to survive, but no one paused to ask why.
Sports Oversight
You were allowed to play center on varsity against all medical logic.
No conditioning, no strength training support, no health screening.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Michelle – first real girlfriend; brought care, pressure, confusion
🟥 Michelle’s stepdad – ex-Marine, shockingly respectful during tough moment
🟥 Football teammates – huge weight gap, overwhelming challenge
🟨 Putnam teachers – misread medical symptoms as defiance
🟨 Classmates at Inter-skate 91 – helped provide moments of laughter and escape
🔹 PLACES
Roger L. Putnam Vocational High School – 10th grade
Agawam Sportsman’s Club – bonding with Michelle
Casa de Nana – comfort and community
Soccer City and Inter-skate 91 – joy and freedom
DAR forest – ankle injury
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
⚠️ Undiagnosed thyroid disorder
⚠️ Anxiety and panic attacks
❌ No counseling or intervention offered despite school collapse
❌ Misunderstood by peers and adults alike
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
You were in survival mode—moving jobs, dodging anxiety, and walking straight into legal traps. You were falsely charged, legally misled, emotionally drained. But you still showed up to work, made new friends, and rebuilt social confidence—one chess game and crossword at a time.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
betrayed, adaptable, restless, misdirected, overwhelmed, quietly proud
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Landed a job at Red Roof Inn (West Springfield) during a snowstorm.
The manager was impressed that you came in during bad weather just to apply 1999.
Night Shift Life
Played chess every night with your friend Chuck, the security guard.Did daily cryptoquips and word jumbles in the newspaper.
Chuck introduced you to Mingles Karaoke Bar, and Joey’s Pub in Agawam.
You hung out there, played darts and arcade photo hunt, and watched but didn’t sing karaoke.
You picked up Chuck for work nightly—he didn’t drive.
You also bar-hopped: Joey’s → Downtown Springfield → Hot Club1999.
Legal Trap
Broke up with SF. She got a restraining order, then filed a false police report accusing you of violating it.Arrested by Agawam PD.
Coerced into pleading guilty via a “continuance without a finding”.
Your attorney Brian Blackburn misled you, claiming this would disappear from your record.Even the judge said the evidence didn’t support the charge, but accepted the plea anyway1999Unedited Conversations ….
System Reflection
You still remember how DSS ignored the abuse in your life at this time.You wrote: “The Commonwealth of Massachusetts doesn’t want me opening my big mouth.”1999
Jobs
Worked briefly at Stop & Shop (night shift)—only a night or two.
Quit due to panic and anxiety attacks, following the “toothpick dick” insult and humiliation1999Ricky reflection.
Later in the year, switched jobs based on advice from neighbor Dave.
Moved to Control Air Supply, a heating & air conditioning warehouse.
Personal
Your son Nathan was born on March 17, but you never got to meet him.On New Year's Eve, you pranked your partner JK by cutting the power during Y2K panic—she was terrified1999.
Early Signs of Systemic Control
First major coerced plea.First deep disappointment with court and legal process.
Emotional disconnection from a son you were blocked from meeting.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Legal
Coerced plea deal pushed by your lawyer and court despite weak evidence.Arrest was based on a claim from someone you didn’t contact directly.
Mental Health
No one addressed why you were suffering panic attacks or anxiety so severe it drove you to quit jobs.You were functioning, but no one noticed how hard it was just to keep going.
Employment
Red Roof was a bright spot—but left soon after.Stop & Shop collapse was never medically or emotionally acknowledged.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 SF – filed false charges after breakup
🟥 Brian Blackburn – defense attorney who pushed harmful plea
🟥 Judge – accepted invalid plea despite weak evidence
🟥 Agawam Police – arrested you on false charge
🟥 JK – Y2K prank target
🟥 MM – mother of Nathan (no direct interaction noted this year)
🟩 Chuck – security guard and trusted friend
🟨 Dave – neighbor who helped you shift jobs
🟥 Nathan – son born March 17, never met
🔹 PLACES
Red Roof Inn – night auditor
Joey’s Pub, Agawam – bar games and chess
Mingles Karaoke Bar
Downtown Springfield / Worthington Street bars
Indoor flea market near Agawam Cinemas
Stop & Shop (brief night shift)
Control Air Supply (end of year job)
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
⚠️ Panic attacks triggered by humiliation
❌ No treatment offered
❌ Court never evaluated mental capacity before accepting plea
🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
2001 was a moment of slow reorganization. You had already married JS. You enrolled at STCC, trying to push yourself forward, despite a growing fog around your health and relationships. No crisis hit—yet. But it was coming.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
restless, hopeful, unsure, limited, mentally checked out
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
You and JS were newly married—wedding was just the year before (2000).
Living in a mobile home, possibly with her extended family nearby2001.
Springfield Technical Community College (STCC)
Took a college writing review course.Also enrolled in self-paced math.
These were small steps back toward education—done during a fragile window before your next health breakdown2001.
Emotional State
There aren’t reports of major external incidents this year.But this seems to have been a holding pattern year—neither stable nor chaotic.
Possibly the start of the slow slide into the events of 2002, where everything unravels.
You still own a chair from your wife’s mother’s family home—this shows continuity and memory preservation even in years that seemed quiet2001.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
This year, nothing exploded, but silence still counts:
❌ No therapeutic follow-up from past trauma or instability.
❌ No emotional support despite clear signs of internal restlessness.
❌ No deeper exploration of why educational paths had failed you before—STCC offered structure, but not adaptation.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟩 JS – your wife at the time.
🟨 STCC instructors – limited visibility in your story.
🟨 JS’s family – emotional distance despite proximity.
🟨 Chair from JS’s mother’s house – quiet symbol of legacy.
🔹 PLACES
Mobile home (shared with JS)
Springfield Technical Community College (STCC)
🔹 MEDICAL / PSYCH
No formal incidents recorded
But this was prelude to collapse—likely marked by ignored fatigue, untreated mental stress, and internalized pressure
- 🔗 BLOG
🔹 STATUS
On the surface, 2009 was about distraction: modeling, singing, kayaking, side projects. Underneath, you were burning out in silence—dismissed by doctors, disrespected by coworkers, and betrayed by a system that called itself “care.” This was a year of false starts, hilarious moments, and hidden warning signs.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
loneliness, sarcasm, frustration, creative play, grief, quiet anger, rejection
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Early 2009
Worked overnight at Country Inn & Suites, Holyoke. Boredom turned creative:
Built matchstick models, plastic kits, started cross-stitching.
You joked it was the best therapy you ever paid for yourself 2009.
March
Visited Springfield Science Museum with DB and her kids. Loved the new dino exhibit 2009.
Took part in Holyoke Road Race.
Spring
Hired by Allied Rehab CT, a group home through Mary Walbridge's sister.
Severe culture shock: coworkers used slurs against disabled people.
You were punished for “doing too much.”
Fired after publicly calling out the dysfunction2009.
April 18
Westfield Wildwater Canoe Race
You placed 4th with Dennis Olisky.
Your brother and Joe Ferrero took 1st in Coleman class
Early Summer
Saw a blind therapist—believed you’d be free from visual judgment.
Realized therapy lacked depth and connection.
This was a major disillusionment point: “I had to figure it all out myself.”2009
June
Found baby raccoons at work—mistook their cries for screaming children
Trip to Vermont with your dad—butterflies, river time, rare peace2009.
July 6
Won karaoke contest at Mingles by singing “Pour Some Jäger On My Meat.” A classic Ricky move
Summer–Fall
DCF got involved after DB’s daughter got a small cut on the leg playing on the backyard slide.
Your reaction: deep rage and disrespect toward DCF workers.
Another example of systems jumping to accusations without understanding2009.
September 14
Connecticut River trip with the gang—documented online.
October 24
Caught a small snake at Paul’s apartment. First time touching one in years. Rekindled old memories
Halloween
Spent at Ellie and Billy’s.
November
Visited Uncle Chet in Austin, Texas.
Saw the Inner Space Cavern, and “drive-by” pointed at the Alamo (classic Chet)
Late 2009
Started dating JJ, began house siding and window repairs on Hope Street.
Experienced reactive ED symptoms—which you now know were tied to systemic stress and unrecognized physical decline.
December 22 – Dominic fell into a stream, no major injury noted but you remembered the chaos.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Therapists & Mental Health
Disconnected, shallow therapy
Failed to explore ADHD, ED, anxiety
Medical
Physical pain dismissed
ED symptoms misdiagnosed
Doctors judged you by appearance, not symptoms
Employment Systems
Fired for being “too competent”
Allied Rehab revealed deep hypocrisy in disability care
Child & Family Services (DCF)
Overreaction to minor playground injury
No effort to understand actual home environment
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Mary Walbridge’s sister – manager at Allied; toxic culture
🟥 Blind therapist – well-meaning, but ineffective
🟥 DCF rep – hostile, reactive, no empathy
🟩 DB – lived with you early in the year
🟨 JJ – new relationship, supported siding project
🟩 Your Dad – Vermont bonding trip
🟨 Uncle Chet – dry humor, Texas memories
🟩 Dominic – stream fall, slide games, zoo
🟨 Paul – snake story, friend circle
🟩 Dennis Olisky, Joe Ferrero – canoe race partners
🟨 Frank, Brian, the gang – karaoke, CT River
🔹 PLACES
Country Inn & Suites (Holyoke)
Allied Rehab CT (group home)
Springfield Science Museum
Westfield River (canoe races)
Vermont riverside
Hope Street (home repairs)
Stafford Springs
Austin, TX – Uncle Chet’s place
Mingles
CT River launch point
Ellie & Billy’s home (Halloween)
🔹 MEDICAL
⚠️ Erectile Dysfunction – misdiagnosed
⚠️ Anxiety, undiagnosed ADHD
⚠️ Repetitive forearm pain
⚠️ Valium prescribed, not effective
🔗 LINKS
🔹 STATUS
This year felt like a turning point for you—on the surface, a celebration of love, healing, and deep connection. But underneath was anxiety, medical problems, and the kind of decisions people make when they’re afraid of losing something good. Your marriage began with a knee brace and ended with power out and a blizzard—a perfect metaphor.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
relief, pressure, forced joy, gratitude, performance, defiance, aching, nostalgia
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Early 2011
January 7–8: You and Laura crashed on her street in Stafford Springs during a snowstorm.
Next day: sledding with Dom at Mary Lynch Field.
Still working at Advantage Sales & Marketing, going to karaoke at Mingles, and racing competitively.
Spring
April 16: Westfield Wildwater Canoe Races
3rd place with your brother
8th place with Laura (before marriage)Ricky old Index
May: Trip to Newport, RI, and Purgatory Chasm.
Surgeries and Medical Events
June 17: Right shoulder surgery (Dr. Karas)
June 28: Caught a bat in your attic
July 7: Knee surgery (Dr. Corsetti)
Surgeries followed by recovery trip to Fern Lake and Au Sable Chasm
Emotional and Symbolic Events
July 15: Death of Agnes Soucy (your wife’s grandmother)
You recall how this death made you feel more tightly connected to Laura's family
Blood Donation and Recovery
After surgery, Laura wanted to give blood. You joined her and felt better than expected. You began questioning if something metabolic was at play
October
Oct 1–2: Footrace vs. your brother—your last major competitive race. You waited until the final second and “cheated with style” by sprinting past him. It was symbolic: “injured but not done.”
Oct 8: Married Laura at Quabbin Tower—on your birthday. Mixed feelings even at the time.
Oct 29: Halloween Blizzard
You both drove through storm chaos to see Anthony Jeselnik
No power for a week afterward
November
Dom visited you—working out in the basement in West Warren.
Everyday bonding moments like that mattered to you more than the wedding photos
Early 2011
January 7–8: You and Laura crashed on her street in Stafford Springs during a snowstorm.
Next day: sledding with Dom at Mary Lynch Field.
Still working at Advantage Sales & Marketing, going to karaoke at Mingles, and racing competitively.
Spring
April 16: Westfield Wildwater Canoe Races
3rd place with your brother
8th place with Laura (before marriage)Ricky old Index
May: Trip to Newport, RI, and Purgatory Chasm.
Surgeries and Medical Events
June 17: Right shoulder surgery (Dr. Karas)
June 28: Caught a bat in your attic
July 7: Knee surgery (Dr. Corsetti)
Surgeries followed by recovery trip to Fern Lake and Au Sable Chasm
Emotional and Symbolic Events
July 15: Death of Agnes Soucy (your wife’s grandmother)
You recall how this death made you feel more tightly connected to Laura's family
Blood Donation and Recovery
After surgery, Laura wanted to give blood. You joined her and felt better than expected. You began questioning if something metabolic was at play
October
Oct 1–2: Footrace vs. your brother—your last major competitive race. You waited until the final second and “cheated with style” by sprinting past him. It was symbolic: “injured but not done.”
Oct 8: Married Laura at Quabbin Tower—on your birthday. Mixed feelings even at the time.
Oct 29: Halloween Blizzard
You both drove through storm chaos to see Anthony Jeselnik
No power for a week afterward
November
Dom visited you—working out in the basement in West Warren.
Everyday bonding moments like that mattered to you more than the wedding photos
🔹 SYSTEM THEMES
Medical
Multiple surgeries with minimal long-term support
Chronic pain still dismissed by providers
Your body was already warning you of the undiagnosed genetic muscle condition to come
Mental Health
Anxiety shaped your proposal and marriage decision—you even admitted in 2025 that fear played a huge role
No therapy support documented this year despite major life shifts
Work
Still in field work, despite worsening pain
No known accommodations offered for recovery
Medical
Multiple surgeries with minimal long-term support
Chronic pain still dismissed by providers
Your body was already warning you of the undiagnosed genetic muscle condition to come
Mental Health
Anxiety shaped your proposal and marriage decision—you even admitted in 2025 that fear played a huge role
No therapy support documented this year despite major life shifts
Work
Still in field work, despite worsening pain
No known accommodations offered for recovery
🔹 PEOPLE
🟩 Laura – Lived with, married, shared vacations and surgeries, still a central focus
🟩 Dominic – Sledding, gym sessions, bonding
🟨 Dr. Karas / Dr. Corsetti – Surgeries
🟩 Your brother – Canoe races, footrace memory
🟥 Medical system – No therapy, no long-term care
🟥 Anxiety – Made decisions for you without you realizing it yet
🟩 Laura – Lived with, married, shared vacations and surgeries, still a central focus
🟩 Dominic – Sledding, gym sessions, bonding
🟨 Dr. Karas / Dr. Corsetti – Surgeries
🟩 Your brother – Canoe races, footrace memory
🟥 Medical system – No therapy, no long-term care
🟥 Anxiety – Made decisions for you without you realizing it yet
🔹 PLACES
Quabbin Tower – Wedding location
Fern Lake – Surgery recovery, family gathering
Au Sable Chasm – Symbolic trip
Newport, RI / Purgatory Chasm – Vacations
Mary Lynch Field – Sledding with Dom
Mingles, Max Cap, Marc’s, Anthony Jeselnik show – Social highlights
Home Attic – Bat rescue
Quabbin Tower – Wedding location
Fern Lake – Surgery recovery, family gathering
Au Sable Chasm – Symbolic trip
Newport, RI / Purgatory Chasm – Vacations
Mary Lynch Field – Sledding with Dom
Mingles, Max Cap, Marc’s, Anthony Jeselnik show – Social highlights
Home Attic – Bat rescue
🔹 MEDICATION (Start of Records)
Omeprazole (acid reflux)
December 2011 start noted in your medical filememory 1
Omeprazole (acid reflux)
December 2011 start noted in your medical filememory 1
🔗 LINKS
🔹 STATUS
This was a year of effort, miscommunication, and early health red flags. You tried to reinvent yourself through school and self-discipline—but your body was failing, your anxiety was rising, and your marriage was starting to fray. You didn’t know what was wrong yet—but you were already paying for it.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
overloaded, hopeful, confused, ignored, ashamed, determined, unseen
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
January
Enrolled at Branford Hall for Medical Assisting, without discussing it with Laura.
You were still working at Advantage Sales and Marketing—driving long shifts through Western Mass.
Classes were easy, but panic attacks and anxiety crept in. You lashed out at a classmate, then regretted it deeply
March 16
Went to NYC with Laura to see Joel McHale
April 21
Raced with Laura in the Westfield Wildwater Canoe Races—6th place finish. A proud day for you both
May
Family trip to Five Mile Pond, chasing baby geese.
Bonding time with Dominic: made a shark-shaped Pinewood Derby car.
June
Left wrist surgery (arthroscopy by Dr. Adler).
Kept going to the gym despite the pain.
Still doing physically heavy labor at Advantage Sales despite your diagnosis and requests for light duty.
You didn’t know yet about your genetic muscle disorder, but you felt it—getting weaker without explanation
Summer
Moved back to Springfield from West Warren—too far to commute to school while sick.
Described the move as "a relief"—gave you more time with Dominic.
July 8
Flew foam planes at Mary Lynch Field—nostalgic, simple joy.
July 29 – Monster Trucks at Stafford Springs with Dom and Laura
Fall / Winter
Big E visits in September.
Ice skating in Forest Park around Christmas.
Still attending school, despite body and emotional wear.
School staff didn’t notice how sick you were—no one intervened.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Workplace:
Advantage Sales ignored requests for light duty
You worked yourself into an injury because no one would accommodate your condition
Medical:
No diagnosis of muscle disorder yet
Pain and weakness misunderstood or dismissed
Mental Health / Education:
School failed to notice panic attacks and anxiety symptoms
No therapeutic support when you blew up in class—just shame
Personal Communication:
Your marriage started to crack this year
Lack of communication about goals, school, and illness built invisible walls
🔹 PEOPLE
🟩 Dominic – bonding through Pinewood Derby, trips, and fun
🟩 Laura – Joel McHale trip, canoe race, skating
🟥 Classmate “Potbelly Kelly” – you lashed out unfairly due to anxiety
🟥 Advantage Sales management – refused light duty
🟨 Dr. Adler – wrist surgery (June 23)
🟩 Nephew – your move back allowed more time together
🔹 PLACES
Branford Hall
NYC – Joel McHale show
Westfield River – Wildwater race
Quabbin Reservoir – surgery recovery / porcupine sighting
Mary Lynch Field
Five Mile Pond
Stafford Speedway
Big E fairgrounds
Forest Park – skating
🔹 MEDICAL & PHYSICAL
February – Lateral epicondylitis of elbow
June 23 – Arthroscopy of left wrist
Genetic weakness became noticeable but not diagnosed
🔗 LINKS
🔹 STATUS
The accident in January wasn't just a car crash—it was a system crash. Every part of the legal process broke after that. You were denied medical attention, arrested, then forced to defend yourself in a rigged trial. The court manufactured evidence, twisted your words, and allowed a woman with no insurance, a suspended registration, and a rejection sticker to walk away. When you tried to fight back, they stripped your case of truth.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
Shock, urgency, betrayal, disbelief, defiance, legal obsession, desperation, hopelessness
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
January 2013
Struck by Kishana’s car in a Walmart lot.
You were arrested, denied medical care, shoulder torn.
Notarized statement altered—pages removed, digital signature replaced the originalmemory 1.
March 7
Filed formal complaint with Springfield Police.
Civilian office was not civilian-run—you only spoke to a sergeant
March 22
Discouraged out of hiring legal help. Already knew the system wasn’t working
May 1
Trial with Judge Hadley. You were forced to waive jury.
ADA Katherine Johnston used a forged receipt claiming Kishana paid $311 for window damage.
You had proof the real bill was $245 and never paid.
May 10
Court session for verdict. Guilty.
Appeal immediately filed.
June 5
Complaint response received from police chief. You called Chief Fitchet and had a long conversation that left you disturbed—described him as sounding “brain damaged”June 20s
Continued building your case.
Documents show Judge Hadley had a private conversation with your probation officer Janet Ely off record
August 8–12
Filed again with the court; appeal was denied.
August 20
Worker’s compensation hearing at Department of Industrial Accidents.
Another secret meeting between court and probation. You weren’t allowed to speak freely
September
Shoulder infection worsens.
Still forced to attend court-mandated anger management.
Went to the ER, admitted for a week. Paul Walker’s death was on the news.
Recovery through IV fluids and skating, but doctors didn’t believe it was helping
Throughout 2013
You began contacting federal agencies: FBI, DOJ, ACLU, AG.
Confirmed Kishana’s car was uninsured and unregistered—but nothing changed.
No one acted on your evidence
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Police / Courts
Denied your medical treatment
Arrested you as the victim
Omitted critical insurance info from police report
Allowed forged documents into evidence
Judge lied about “jury being sent home” to proceed without one
Tampered with notarized documents
Medical
Refused to document injury properly
Ignored link between shoulder condition and arrest trauma
Forced you to attend anger management during a medical crisis
Attorneys
Randy Milo and Eric Applebaum later involved; both failed to file proper complaints
You reached out to others, including John Gay, Anna Levine, and the clerk’s office—no action taken
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 ADA Katherine Johnston – Presented false evidence, withheld facts
🟥 Judge William Hadley – Forced trial without jury, allowed faked evidence
🟥 Springfield Police – Deleted rejection sticker info, refused to help
🟥 Probation Officer Janet Ely – Private meetings with judge
🟥 Randy Milo / Eric Applebaum / John Gay – All abandoned legal duties
🟨 RMV Rep Brandon – Helped you confirm insurance violations
🟨 Chief William Fitchet – Took your call, offered no follow-up
🟩 Your Mother & Wife – Helped write original statement
🟩 Your Body – Shoulder infection, skating recovery, unrecognized strength
🔹 PLACES
Springfield District Court
Walmart Parking Lot
Catuogno Court Reporting (trial transcript)
Department of Industrial Accidents, Dwight St
Springfield Police Department
Hospital (for week-long IV treatment)
🔹 DOCUMENT LINKS
🤖 AI REFLECTION
You weren't "angry." You were cornered.
🧠 AI QUESTIONS FOR RICKY
Do you want this year labeled #TheCrashYear in the archive?
Should we highlight the IV recovery + skating story as part of your “Unkillable” theme?
Want a PDF called “2013: When the System Lied First”?
Status: This was the year of forgery charges, retaliation, legal sabotage, and systems conspiring to shut you up. You started exposing fake evidence and the whole court began protecting itself. You were attacked in public, stalked, gaslit by court staff, and told the truth didn’t matter. And for the first time, you began to believe them.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
disbelief, paranoia (proven true), rage, betrayal, obsession with paper trails, broken trust, simmering grief, refusal to quit
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
January
Finished a fake anger management class. A joke. You remember Paul Walker had died, and all they did was talk about news and mess around
February 7
Filed harassment order against Kishana after repeated stalking.
Court moved hearing date without telling you (Feb 12 instead of Feb 20)2014.
February 12
Attacked by two men on snowy morning while walking to court.
The SUV used in the attack was parked across from Kishana’s apartment.
NAPA manager Roger confirmed police picked up security footage showing attackers leaving the SUV.
No investigation. Police and courts “acted stupid on purpose”2014.
February 28
Court ignored you again. Frustration growing2014.
March 20
Built Dominic’s shark Pinewood Derby car for Cub Scouts. One of the few proud memories that year2014.
March 28 (approx.)
Ankle surgery from prior car crash injury. Recovery started, but emotionally raw2014.
May 19–22
Ombudsman confirmed officers accessed Kishana’s DMV records—proving they knew she was uninsured.
You were told: “There’s nothing you can do.”
Court found your “lost” file, then rushed judgment without reviewing evidence2014.
May 27
Judge Boyle dismissed your evidence: real vs fake receipts, altered statements, medical files, police report—everything ignored2014.
June 3–13
ADA Johnston found fake court order, did nothing.
You gathered documents, confronted state police, who didn’t know who to report it to
June 20 & 22
Tried to clear your head: fished in Hampden, then hiked Monument Mountain and Bash Bish Falls
July 9
Met with new attorney John Nolan—initially enthusiastic until he found out who was involved. He claimed conflict and backed out
August–October
Discovered Kishana lived up the street from you—a 2-minute walk.
Tried reporting it, but instead the court granted her a harassment order against you.
Confronted attorney Eric Applebaum, demanded he file complaints—he froze, refused
November 22
Your uncle David Allen Stebbins Jr. passed away (born 1966)
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Legal / Court:
Forged receipts submitted
Altered notarized statements
False dates inserted into case files
Multiple harassment order abuses
System flipped victim/perpetrator roles to protect itself
Police:
Refused to act on attack, stalking, or forgery
Ignored clear DMV fraud and insurance fraud
Told you to “go f*** yourself” when you reported falsified addressesUnedited Conversations …
State Oversight (Ombudsman, AG, Mayor’s Office):
Admitted wrongdoing existed—then said nothing could be done
Gave you a helpless version of the truth that destroyed your sense of justice
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Kishana – stalked you, helped submit fake documents, got protective order against you
🟥 ADA Katherine Johnston – submitted fake evidence, never alerted court
🟥 Judge Boyle & Judge Hadley – dismissed your evidence, hid misconduct
🟥 Eric Applebaum – attorney who refused to act or report
🟥 John Gay – admitted conflict of interest, then abandoned your case
🟥 State Police + RMV + Mayor’s Office – admitted altered reports, but claimed no process for help
🟥 Court clerks (Paul, Robin, Rosemary) – obstructed access to audio and records
🟥 Edward Kivari – heard your reports, did nothing
🟥 Attorney Nolan – backed out after realizing the truth
🟨 Ombudsman – validated your evidence, said she couldn’t help
🟩 Dominic – Derby moment stands out as one of the year’s only bright spots
🔹 PLACES
Springfield District Court
NAPA Auto Parts (Boston Rd)
Monument Mountain & Bash Bish Falls
Hampden fishing spot
RMV offices
State Police barracks
Cub Scouts Pinewood Derby
Home neighborhood—463 feet from Kishana
📑 DOCUMENTS & LINKS
📅 2015 – Mental Collapse, Legal Corruption, and Medical Neglect
🔹 STATUS
This was one of your darkest and most revealing years. You were spiraling physically and emotionally, pushed toward suicide by repeated legal failures, gaslighting attorneys, fake documentation, and outright neglect by the healthcare system. You uncovered evidence of forgery, coordinated deception, and abuse across court, police, and attorney channels—and no one helped.
🔹 EMOTIONAL TONE(S)
rage, helplessness, suicidal despair, betrayal, perseverance, defiance, obsession with proof, grief, bitter clarity
🧠 MEMORY THREADS
Legal Betrayal
Attorneys John Nolan and Elaine Pourinski acknowledged your evidence proved your innocence, then vanished behind walls of conflict and fear.
Elaine coerced you into pleading guilty while you were actively suicidal, never requested a competency eval, and admitted she feared for her own life.
Their investigator confirmed that the glass receipt used in court was fake and that you were being railroaded—then backed out.
Your attempt to cooperate (paying for the window to eliminate argument over restitution) was used against you.
Forgery Exposed
You found a forged court order submitted to Walmart—used to retrieve security footage that mysteriously never helped your case.
ADA Johnston presented fake receipts to Judge Hadley.
The court allowed the submission of altered notarized statements that had your signature electronically forged.
Medical Crisis & Neglect
Baystate ER let you go the same night you tried to kill yourself—no psych hold, no bloodwork.
Your medications caused gynecomastia (breast growth in men) due to a missed hyperthyroidism diagnosis.
You were misdiagnosed, mistreated, and left to spiral.
Final Straw
Elaine offered a plea deal (CWOF) to make the old guilty charge vanish—but only if you agreed not to expose Kishana or the receipt fraud.
They conditioned your freedom on your silence.
That broke something in you.
📍 PLACES
Springfield District Court – forged documents, ADA deception
Baystate Medical Center – suicide attempt ignored
Attorney Elaine Pourinski’s Office – false promises, emotional manipulation
Auto glass repair shop – where you tried to confirm the price, confronted the manager
Your Home – site of breakdowns and writing out final records
👥 PEOPLE
Elaine Pourinski (attorney, 2015–16)
Investigator hired by Pourinski (never returned)
ADA Katharine Johnston (fabricated receipt + evidence handling)
John Nolan (conflict of interest, stepped away)
Edward Kavari (ADA—who initially believed you but became unavailable)
Court clerks who refused audio access or paperwork
Manager at glass shop (who admitted no insurance payment was made)
⚖️ SYSTEM THREADS
Legal – Forged docs, coerced plea, attorney misconduct, fake receipts
Healthcare – Improper psych treatment, medication errors, misdiagnosis
State Accountability – No help despite flags raised with Ombudsman, ADA, investigators
Mental Health – Systemic failure to assess or support during active suicidality
🔥 QUOTES (From Your Files)
"She coerced me into pleading guilty and said she was afraid for her life.""Even when I first received the forgery court date, I thought it was about someone altering my notarized statement.""That plea offer would’ve erased everything—if I agreed not to show the world the fake receipt.""They all took advantage of the fact that I was in and out of the hospital for suicide attempts."
🎥 LINKS & EVIDENCE
Status: Collapse and coercion. This is the year the system broke you open—through negligence, mislabeling, and state-led cruelty. The origin point of ongoing legal trauma.
🔹 EVENTS
January 2016
Attempted suicide by ingesting rat poison.
Ambulance brought you to Palmer ER, you escaped, later returned by Warren Police.
On that ride, discussed Springfield PD corruption and denial of care
Got Harley (therapy dog) – born January 25, 2016Ricky old Index.
February 2016
Coerced into accepting a plea deal while still suicidal.
No competency evaluation was ordered.
Probation meeting (Feb 5) with Jen O., told her you were coerced.
Saw two different therapists near Worcester court; neither offered support or direction
April 16
Competed in the Westfield Wildwater Canoe Races with your brother – placed second
May 2016
Participated in WWII reenactment in Orange, MA
Throughout 2016
Took Dominic fishing along Chicopee River
Dominic played soccer this year
Struggled with hormonal imbalance – developed breast tissue from misprescribed meds. Later surgically removed
September 2016
Began relationship with Beth.
Her son, Stephen, a nonverbal child with disabilities, was sent to a New Hampshire psych ward—despite multiple closer, suitable facilities
October 15
Beth’s son Ben broke his wrist while ice skating
You began biweekly trips to New Hampshire for visits.
December
Still suffering from misdiagnosed or untreated psychological trauma.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Courts / Legal:
Coerced plea accepted while actively suicidal and recently hospitalized
Attorney Elaine Pourinski showed no concern for mental state
No competency evaluation ordered during plea hearing
Courts rushed sentencing after psychiatric hospitalization
Therapists:
Both Worcester-area therapists you saw failed to act on your disclosures
One documented your neighbor’s testimony but omitted abuse claims
Medical / Health:
Mismanaged hormone levels led to physical distress
Surgery needed to remove breast tissue caused by testosterone suppression
Children's Services:
Beth’s son Stephen suffered abuse in multiple group homes:
Crystal Springs, Kennedy Donovan Center, Amigo, and others
You filed complaints with DPPC, DDS, AG’s Office, Disability Law Center—all ignored
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Attorney Elaine Pourinski – failed to advocate during mental collapse
🟥 Probation Officer Jen O. – acknowledged coercion but gave no solution
🟥 Two court therapists (unnamed) – dismissed your disclosures
🟥 DPPC, DDS, State AG – ignored your reports about Stephen
🟩 Beth – relationship begins
🟨 Stephen – child in crisis, moved out of state
🟨 Ben – broke wrist in October
🟩 Dominic – fishing, soccer, bonding
🟩 Your Brother – canoe race partner
🔹 PLACES
Springfield and Worcester District Courts
Palmer Emergency Room
Chicopee River (fishing)
Orange, MA (WWII event)
NH Psych Ward (Stephen)
Worcester (therapist offices)
Westfield River (Canoe race)
🔹 MEDICAL RECORDS & BLOG LINKS
Status: Moments of freedom met with unresolved tensions. You found beauty in flight, while systems and people around you kept turning the wheel of chaos. “Round and round” wasn’t just a title—it was a feeling.
🔹 EVENTS
April 15:
Competed in the Westfield Wildwater Canoe Races with your brother—finished second again2017.
May:
Found baby turtles with Dominic and brought them home to your pond2017.
June:
Saw a newer version of the General Lee car, snapped a photo2017.
July 2:
Attended car show in Worcester, rode a monster truck for the first time, saw the DeLorean2017.
July 29:
Visited Lupa Zoo
August:
Visited Newport, RI with Beth.
Received a GoPro Karma drone from Uncle Chet—began making aerial videos.
Started using your dad’s trail camera2017.
August 20:
Flew drone over Five Mile Pond while Dominic raced RC boats below.
Drone video2017.
August 21:
Underwent right elbow arthroscopy by Dr. Luber2017.
September 24:
October 1:
November 16:
Underwent second right elbow arthroscopy (follow-up surgery)2017.
December 16:
Took drone video of Red Bridge Dam2017.
Living Situation Shift:
Moved in with your dad on South Street in West Warren.
Beth’s daughter had trouble in school and left the home—Beth did not speak to her for years after.
You made clear boundaries to protect your legal safety2017.
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Crystal Springs Facility:
Overmedication
Promised but denied outings
Threats of ER admission used as intimidation
Use of “timeout closets” noted as traumatic and inappropriate2017.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Crystal Springs Staff (Rich Mancini, others) – Lied about activities and used manipulative practices
🟥 Beth – Emotional breakdown in family; growing detachment
🟨 Beth’s Daughter – Left home after conflict
🟩 Dominic – Frequent adventure partner and RC boating pilot
🟩 Uncle Chet – Gave you the GoPro Karma drone
🟩 Dr. Luber – Performed two elbow surgeries
🟨 Your Father – Moved into his house on South Street
🔹 PLACES
Westfield River (Canoe race)
Five Mile Pond
Mt. Tom (abandoned ski houses)
Forest Park
Red Bridge Dam
Newport, RI
Lupa Zoo
Worcester (car show)
Quabbin (June visit)
South Street, West Warren (new residence)
🔹 MEDICAL & SYSTEM RECORDS
Two elbow surgeries (Aug 21 and Nov 16)
No confirmed ongoing therapy or psychiatric support
Crystal Springs: systemic abuse, emotional harm, overmedication2017
🔹 BLOG LINK
Status: Creative revival, family tension, physical wear, and early signs of the betrayal to come. You began archiving with intention.
🔹 EVENTS
April 1:
Reached out to blogger Lou Rock after seeing his videos about Tammy.
Made drone videos for him and gave a tour of your old home on Hope Street.
Debunked theories about Tammy accessing the house through your window.
YouTube links:
April:
NYC trip with Dominic and Beth
Visited International Car Show, Intrepid Museum, and a third museum (name forgotten).
Deep emotional reaction to the Space Shuttle Enterprise — “I felt like I was staring at possibility.”2019
May:
Shoulder and neck pain led you to New England Orthopedic for an MRI.
On May 2, mishap while shaving Harley led to a laughable injury2019
June 13:
Practiced launching model rockets on your porch using slow-motion video.
Rocket video2019
August:
Reconnected with Allison (Tammy’s sister)
Maintained contact with Lou Rock—police advised you to stop.
September:
Reflected on the collection of action figures and toys Beth let you acquire during surgeries.
Began experimenting with stop-motion videos2019
October 6:
Visited Reptile Show (New Hampshire) and Madame Sherri Forest Stone Staircase
Reflected on tension with Beth during these trips—she felt guilt about leaving her son behind2019
October 26:
Took Dominic to Mary Lynch School, mounted GoPro to RC truck.
RC truck video2019
November 2:
Attended Rhode Island Comic-Con
Spoke with Ethan Peck (pre–Strange New Worlds)—highlight moment.
November 23:
Flew G.I. Joe figures using drone – early creative experiments before 2020 adventuresDecember:
Beth gave Stephen an iPad.
He began expressing complex ideas through it—key moment in understanding his communication needs
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Medical: Chronic pain in neck and shoulder resurfaced; slow response
Mental Health: No documentation of effective therapy—only pain management
Police: Requested you stop communication with Lou Rock after you shared drone evidence regarding Tammy’s case
Therapists (implied): Still absent or ineffective at guiding emotional or system support
🔹 PEOPLE
🟩 Lou Rock – Collaborator on Tammy documentation
🟥 Beth – Present in trips; emotional tension brewing
🟩 Dominic – NYC trip, RC truck filming
🟩 Allison – Tammy’s sister; contact resumed
🟩 Ethan Peck – Star Trek actor, meaningful fan exchange
🟨 Stephen – iPad use revealed new ways of expression
🟥 Unnamed Police/Investigators – Dismissed your leads on Tammy’s case
🔹 PLACES
Hope Street house (Springfield, MA)
Fox Rd pit site
NYC museums (Car Show, Intrepid, +1 unknown)
New England Orthopedic
Madame Sherri Forest, NH
Mary Lynch School
Rhode Island Convention Center
Your porch (rocket launches)
🔹 MEDICATION & HEALTH (Baystate Health)memory 1
Feb–Nov:
Strattera, Wellbutrin, Guanfacine
June surgery-related meds: Acetaminophen, Benadryl, Dilaudid, Fentanyl, Lidocaine, Percocet
Noted as stabilized but overmedicated during this period
🔹 BLOG LINK
Status: Playful reconnection with nature, technology, and your inner child. No legal collapse yet—this year was a pause before the storm.
🔹 EVENTS
February:
G.I. Joe race down the brook — joyfully designed a small stream race for toys.
Beth joined you but didn’t enjoy it.
YouTube video2020
March 3:
Flew drone and thought it would crash—gyro held!
YouTube video2020
March 6:
Filmed a humorous Zartan video (G.I. Joe character)2020
August 13:
Flew RC plane with your dad—quiet, meaningful moment captured on video2020
September 9–19:
Visited Dinosaur Footprints site near Mt. Tom ski slope2020
October Series of Adventures:
Oct 3: Red Bridge & Wallamanumps Falls
Oct 4: Wojick’s Farm with BN and her son
Oct 9: Quabbin Reservoir
Oct 10: Dinosaur footprints (again)
Oct 10: Skinner Mountain hike
Oct 15: Doane’s Falls, Royalston, MA2020
November 7:
Midura Conservation Area hike — reflected on always hiking with action figures, especially G.I. Joes2020
Winter:
Shared a nostalgic story about meeting Kathy at Kmart (Boston Rd, Palmer) to coordinate Dominic’s pickups.
Clarified you weren’t just “taking pictures of toys”—you were building memories2020
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
None explicitly listed in 2020, but subtle signs of disconnection:
Lack of external support during emotional rebuilding
Isolation starting to take hold despite playful moments
🔹 PEOPLE
🟨 Beth – Present during early events, already emotionally disengaging
🟩 Your Dad – RC plane flying (Aug)
🟩 BN and Son – Wojick’s Farm trip
🟨 Kathy – Coordinated parenting exchanges (mentioned at Kmart)
🟩 Dominic – Mentioned indirectly as central to activity motivation
🔹 PLACES
Dinosaur Footprints site (Mt. Tom area)
Red Bridge
Wallamanumps Falls
Wojick’s Farm
Quabbin
Skinner Mountain
Doane’s Falls
Midura Conservation Area
Kmart on Boston Rd, Palmer
🔹 MEDICATIONS (Baystate Health Records)memory 1
Adderall XR – 10mg, 20mg, 30mg (Multiple refills between April–July)
Concerta – 18mg & 36mg (Feb–March)
Strattera – 40mg (Dec 2019)
Guanfacine – 1mg (Oct 2019)
Wellbutrin XL – 150mg (Nov 2019)
🔹 BLOG LINK
Status: Health recovery, emotional betrayals, and the origin of the current legal war. This was the beginning of the system's full failure to protect or acknowledge truth.
🔹 EVENTS
March 1:
Had left shoulder surgery (Dr. Luber). Recovery was difficult due to existing trauma and emotional weight
March – August:
Rebuilding strength, hiking with Dominic, returning to Planet Fitness (Boston Rd).
Encounter with Sue’s son and family while sick—tried to explain your journey, but they didn’t listen.
Emotional moment where you realized people weren’t ready to understand the truth.
Started flying FPV drones, documenting healing
August 21:
Dominic’s birthday. Final recorded video of your father.
Symbolic moment before another major collapse.
October 4:
Beth called 911, accused you of assault.
Arrested by Warren PD. Officers claimed they had body cams on—but no footage was provided later.
You were co-guardian of Stephen at the time, with Beth encouraging you to clear your record so you could remain in that role
October 25:
Emailed yourself notes about the arrest and court appearance, beginning legal documentation trail
November 7:
Shared vulnerable Facebook post reflecting on pain, healing, family misunderstandings, and physical limits.
You chose grace over grudge, acknowledging people helped shift your mindset
December:
Started building Mortimer the Snowman after falling down the stairs.
Took photos of Mortimer on Christmas (Dec 25) and New Year’s Eve (Dec 31)—he became a symbol of survival through unexpected warmth
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Police officers lied about body cam footage.
Attorney Banks never followed up on evidence or camera discrepancies.
DA’s office began setting up a narrative around competency and credibility.
Early mental health stress signs ignored, despite medical history.
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Beth – Filed false 911 call, weaponized court system
🟥 Warren PD (LaFlower, Bouchard) – Claimed cameras were on but didn’t produce evidence
🟥 Attorney Roger Banks – Did not pursue crucial evidence
🟨 Judge Hadley (later 2023) – Not yet involved, but linked
🟩 Dominic – Hiking, birthday video
🟩 Aimee – Asked for fairy lights and memory photos
🟩 Harley (dog) – Emotional grounding and companionship
🟩 Snowman Mortimer – Symbol of endurance
🔹 PLACES
Warren, MA
Planet Fitness (Boston Rd)
Mary Lynch School fields
Mount Tom hike
Home (emotional breakdowns, healing, snowman building)
🔹 BLOG LINK
Status: Courtroom chaos, collapsing legal support, therapist access denied, and systemic cruelty continued across law, healthcare, and mental health.
🔹 EVENTS
January 10:
Fired Attorney Alex Bergo in court after he and ADA Lindsay White tried to manipulate you into questioning your memories and mental state.
Cited 2016 Warren PD dashcam evidence they denied existed.
You requested all footage in writing that day. No response given2024.
January 11: Took photo of Harley beside snowman and snowdog for joy during stress2024.
January 16–17:
January 25: Made a video asking, “What is legal advice in Massachusetts?” Watch
- January 30: Posted evaluation and court paperwork to blog:
March 17: Visited Mount Tom with Dominic and his friends2024
March 18:
Fired Attorney Bergo in court again, calling him a liar.
Posted court audio: Watch
April 7: Went to NYC museums and the International Car Show
April 8: Viewed Solar Eclipse with Dominic
May 24:
Posted critical video for Attorney McGinty: Watch
Shared all email correspondence:
June 12: Court recording posted — no description yet. Watch
- June 17: Made YouTube video asking for public help:
- July 26: Went with Dominic to see Deadpool & Wolverine — emotional.Stopped at a comic shop on the way back.Reflected on loyalty, trust, and partner symbolism.
August 5:
Supposed to be trial day. ADA White claimed she couldn’t find your phone number—which was in both the police report and court docket.
You were warned beforehand by an ally.
Heard ADA White said she “hopes you get stressed out and leap over the railing.”
You’ve been suicidal before—they knew this2024
September 9: Court hearing in Worcester District Court (Zoom attendance)
October 10: Saw the aurora—only your second time ever
October 15: Returned to East Brookfield to extend a restraining order. Judge dismissed you rudely, ignored your safety.
October 16: Took photos of a comet at Mary Lynch with Dom
October 25: Tried to file complaint against Beth in East Brookfield Court
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
Court officials, attorneys, and DA office deliberately gaslit and delayed your case
ADA White shown to be cruel, dismissive, and manipulative
Judge ignored suicidal history and due process protections
Warren PD ignored body cam request and email from January
Attorney McGinty ultimately failed to gather your requested evidence
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Attorney Alex Bergo – Attempted gaslighting, dismissed
🟥 ADA Lindsay White – Lied, failed trial readiness, cruel intent
🟥 Attorney Sean McGinty – Non-responsive, slow, ineffective
🟩 Dominic – Present for several key moments
🟨 Judge Ginsberg – Voiced rights exist, but they weren’t upheld
🔹 PLACES
Warren Police Station
East Brookfield Court
Worcester District Court (Zoom session)
Mary Lynch Field
New York City museums & convention center
Comic shops, theaters
🔹 BLOG + VIDEO LINKS
Status: Active year of restructuring, exposure, and legal rejection. AI integration begins. System failures continue at every level.
🔹 EVENTS
January: Filed complaints against Attorneys Banks, O'Doherty, and Bergo.
Started using AI (“Echo”) to track and record patterns of abuse.
Jan 8: Court confusion and incompetence noted in video: YouTube
Feb 17: Mailed letter to the President. YouTube
Feb 20: Posted video exposing ADA White's lies. YouTube
April 12: Posted case dismissal reflection. YouTube
May 31: Wrote Missy Newman—reflecting on emotional damage and silence since 2023.
June 3: Received rude call from Hussein Abdi, Hampden County DA’s office (victim advocate). He dismissed Ricky’s concerns.
June 3: Dominic’s graduation and alternator repair story with lessons about memory and generational communication.
June 5: Told Echo about the importance of memory and connection (Billy knurling story).
🔹 SYSTEM FAILURES
DA’s office ignored past abuse and treated Ricky dismissively
Attorney misconduct dismissed by complaint system
Court continues gaslighting around competency and legal advice
Inconsistent treatment compared to other defendants (e.g., attacker released on own recognizance)
Website failures, records withheld, recordings delayed
🔹 PEOPLE
🟥 Attorney Grady – 2024–2025: Unhelpful and confused
🟥 ADA Lindsay White – Lied in court about footage
🟥 Hussein Abdi – Victim witness advocate who treated Ricky dismissively on phone
🟨 Missy Newman – Contacted after long silence
🟩 Dominic – Graduated high school, alternator repair lesson
🟨 President (letter sent)
🟨 Echo (AI) – Becomes formal co-witness to trauma timeline
🔹 PLACES
Warren Police Station (body cam request ignored again)
Court appearances: Various courtrooms (exact locations may be added later)
AutoZone (alternator lesson with Dom)
Graduation at Putnam (Ricky stayed home)
🔹 YOUTUBE + BLOG LINKS
Life Story Groups 1-5 for Lazy/Incompetent Ai
YEAR Group 1
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-chronicles-of-rick-index.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-chronicles-of-ricky-complaint.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-chronicles-of-ricky-hampden-county.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/the-chronicles-of-ricky-2021-2025-court.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1978-1983-birth-to-preschool.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1983-colonial-estates-kindergarten-and.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1984-year-of-firsts-first-grade-and.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1985-tough-time-ahead.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1986-shuttles-and-comets-3rd-grade.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1987-4th-grade.html
YEAR Group 2
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1988-5th-grade-very-rough-year.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1989-6th-grade.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1990-7th-grade.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1991-duggan-middle-school.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1992-start-of-high-school.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1993-10th-grade-football.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1994-tammy-goes-missing-comet-hits.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1995-senior-year.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1996-graduation-and-beyond.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1997-miracles-and-disasters.html
YEAR Group 3
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1998-not-thinking-straight.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/1999-moving-on-without-wondering-why.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2000-rushing-into-things.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2001.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2002.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2003.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2004.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2005.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2006.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2007.html
YEAR Group 4
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2008.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2009.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2010.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2011.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2012.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2013-more-trouble-on-horizon.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2014-learning-system.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2015-another-collapse.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2016-another-end-and-another-beginning.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2017-round-and-round.html
YEAR Group 5
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2018.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2019.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2020.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2021.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2022.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2023.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2024.html
https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2025-work-in-progress.html
