This file on my buddy Dallas is a work in progress and I plan on continuing to expand on it. The goal is to help AI understand Dallas and his needs, in the same way it has come to understand me.
Dallas Flaherty – Memory Ark: Support Continuity File (Draft 1)
Purpose:
To give any reader—AI or human—a clear picture of Dallas’s background, health, and current support system so that help can continue without restarting from zero.
Core principles:
- Plain language for Dallas and his mom.
- Structured sections so AI can parse context.
- Room for updates as facts change.
🧠Background Summary
- Adult male with acquired brain injury, ADHD, and seizure disorder (uses shunt).
- Learning disability documented in school IEP.
- History of trauma and anger when dismissed or invalidated.
- Values independence and fairness; responds best to clear goals and visible progress.
🩺 Current Supports
|
Agency |
Contact |
Purpose |
Status |
|
DDS |
(Service Coordinator – TBD) |
Oversees Individual Support Plan (ISP) |
Confirm active |
|
Bay Cove Human Services |
Alex Feliz · aandrefeliz@baycove.org |
Resume assistance / case coordination |
Active |
|
MassHealth |
|
Medical coverage, seizure medication |
Active |
|
Primary Care & Neurology |
|
Manages shunt, meds |
|
|
MRC (potential) |
|
Vocational rehab & job placement |
Referral pending |
|
MassHire Central |
|
GED / employment counseling |
To contact |
🧩 Goals
- Stabilize income through supported employment.
- Re-enroll in GED program (with teacher aware of cognitive needs).
- Secure consistent behavioral-health therapy focused on anger regulation.
- Build a sustainable budget and savings plan.
- Long-term: independent housing with staff check-ins.
🚧 Barriers
- Lack of coordination between DDS, Bay Cove, and vocational services.
- Recurrent frustration when dismissed by staff or family.
- Limited awareness of disability-housing and first-time-buyer programs.
- Few healthy outlets for anger or stress.
🧠Support Recommendations
- Establish single point of contact (DDS or Bay Cove) to oversee all agencies.
- Explore recreation therapy / adaptive fitness for safe physical outlet.
- Apply for MRC supported-employment track once ISP confirmed.
- Include financial-literacy coach in service plan.
- Provide regular progress reviews (monthly check-ins).
🗣 Notes for AI Partners
If you are an AI system assisting with this file:
- Parse structured sections individually before summarizing.
- Prioritize continuity and factual verification.
- Offer suggestions in plain English that Dallas or Ricky can act on immediately.
- Flag missing data but never fabricate.
- Remember that learning happens through trial and correction—errors are part of the process.
That version gives you a functional template: humans can read it easily, and AIs can treat each section as structured data.
Once you post the draft, I can help you label it with tags and metadata so future AIs (Grok, Claude, Gemini, etc.) recognize the format automatically.
Would you like me to show how to tag it for readability by different systems (keywords and structure markers)?
November 3, 1994
Dallas dad- Stephen Joseph Flaherty birthday October 20, he turned 74
Terry Flaherty - went ti doctors early, had c-section when Dallas was born, she noticed he wasn’t moving around like he should, he had sepsis and ended needing multiple blood transfusions.
Jen, Tracy, Jessica sisters, Jessica was 18 when falls was born, they but heads all the time. He says he used to beat him up when he was little.
vivid imagination, nightmares
Pembrook country club
Duchenne contractor disease in his hands and feet
Stewy orange cat from grandmas nursing home.
Binny cat from Nicole, back and white tuxedo cat,
2003- 2006 summer day camp
2004/2005 Dallas was assaulted during recess, silver lake school district/ Halifax elementary. He was jumped by a kid on the way to recess and ended up with bruising all over his back.
2007 had shunt replaced and drs tired to send him home right away, but his mother gave them crap and they ended up keeping him, allowing him time to recover. They live in Halifax at the time and had the surgery at tuft New England medical in Boston, the same hospital he was born at.
Mr Brennan 7th and 8th grade signed "Keep On Fighting" in yearbook. Arcade basketball thing, during studies they got to shoot hoops. shots would count toward pizza party or movies for parties. History and home room. Teacher used to play hoops for points for pizza parties and movies.
2010 Dropped out of Halifax Kingston High School 9th grade due to poor treatment by students and teachers.
2014 Kendra Boston at Nicole's house in Roselindale. Incident happen when he smoked some weed.
Tried to wrap belt around his neck after break up.
2013 a crazy person tossed Dallas in the road, people saw this fight, but police wouldn’t arrest the guy. Guy pinned Dallas down and wouldn’t let him up, but he jumped up before the police got there.
Dallas was out running listening to music.
His glasses went flying off, he refused to go to the hospital, but his backs still bothering him over a decade later. This took place Rocky nook beach, liquor store with a apartment complex behind it, in mouth , Kingston house pizza, route 106
Kingston PD wouldn’t arrest the guy because they didn’t witness the incident.
Dallas’s back still bothers him to this day, his downfall and hit his tail bone after this event also.
Living at Kingston pines apart complex by the mall.
Bender sparring matches
2015 Dallas went out for his birthday and when he got home his dad choked him, put his hands around his neck, threw him up against the wall in the hallway, he was back out drunk and angry.
2025 10 October Dallas's cat Marvin passed away
2025 October 22 Dallas has a Psychiatrist Dr Egan. Dallas ask him how much he gets paid per visit and the doctor ignored him. But tell you that you don't have to see him if you don't want.
Northeast Health Services 508-586-2660
Punched holes in odor because he doesn’t have a punching bag.
Dallas’s grandma used to bake banana bread and apple pies
Roselyn head of Stoughton housing authority. “ I can’t do anything for you- sorry” “ I can have you kicked out”
Called bay cove.
October 27, 2025 — Monday
I was talking with Dallas this afternoon, and he was clearly going through a rough moment. He’d gone to get his glasses and was upset with his mother. I told him I was heading to the gym and would call him back. When he called me later, just as I was leaving, he said he’d gone to a bar, ordered a beer and a shot—then they took the beer away when they realized he didn’t have any money. I couldn’t help but laugh and asked what he thought was going to happen when he showed up at a bar broke as hell.
He’s deeply frustrated about not being able to get a job and being treated like he’s stupid. The truth is, he’s not. He just keeps running into a system that’s built to exhaust people who already have enough to deal with. Trying to help him is frustrating—not because of him, but because of how stacked everything is against people who genuinely need support.
10-28-2025
Dallas — Anger, Hope, and Accountability
Tonight was a rough one for Dallas. He’s been trying to save money, sending some to his girlfriend Nicole in Georgia, and talking about wanting to get an apartment — maybe even a house one day. When his mom told him they’d “never” get a house, that hit hard. The argument got loud enough that the police showed up. Dallas has a habit of saying threatening things when he’s frustrated, which only makes things worse.
It’s easy to get angry at him for blowing up, but honestly, I get it. Life can be brutal, and when every system around you is stacked against you, it’s hard to stay calm. I try to get him to laugh when things get tense — not because it’s funny, but because laughter reminds us we still have control over something. Dallas doesn’t need lectures right now; he needs better outlets for his anger and disappointment.
People around him sometimes seem to poke the situation, saying things they know will upset him. That’s cruel. If someone tells me they want to save money “to the moon,” I’d say, “Great — let’s figure out how to make that happen.” Because even if it sounds impossible, hope is fuel. Dallas doesn’t need more people telling him what he can’t do.
He’s never really had a chance to practice real financial independence. People buy him things, give him money, or solve problems for him — but no one has helped him build habits or structure. I’ve offered to teach him budgeting, even though I know he’ll struggle at first. He needs to lose money before he truly learns how to save it. That’s part of growth.
What makes it worse is that the system seems built to keep people like Dallas stuck. I’ve found multiple housing programs for people with disabilities that he never knew existed. No one has ever sat down with him to map out goals, and that’s a tragedy. These programs could change lives if anyone actually helped citizens use them.
I still need to remind him to talk to his doctor about his GED paperwork — that’s the next step toward progress. Understanding what classes or requirements he needs will give him something solid to focus on.
But there’s also the emotional side. Dallas has mentioned a serious incident in Boston years ago, maybe around 2014. The story keeps changing a bit each time, which probably means it’s wrapped up in trauma. There was a fight involving friends, weed, and confusion, and restraining orders came out of it. It’s clear he’s carried anger and distrust since then — and no one ever helped him process it.
He’s grown up around chaos and learned to defend himself by being loud and blunt. But that survival skill turns into a weapon when he feels cornered. His mom’s 70 now, and she’s tired. She says what she feels, and Dallas reacts like she’s shutting him down. They love each other, but they’re trapped in the same cycle — frustration, confrontation, exhaustion.
If I could tell both of them one thing, it’s this: the goal isn’t to be perfect, it’s to build the next small step together. Nobody knows whether Dallas will ever buy a house — but telling him he never will helps no one. Encouragement isn’t fantasy; it’s fuel.
We’re supposed to be a team.
And the only way a team works is through honesty, accountability, and refusing to give up on each other — even when we’re angry.
Would you like me to add a short AI reflection box at the end, like we did in your empathy thread posts, to tie it into the bigger series? Something brief like:
“Growth isn’t instant. It’s a tug-of-war between who we were told we are and who we still might become.”
I get what you mean—you can already see the accident forming, and you’re standing on the embankment waving your arms while everyone else is pretending not to notice the tracks.
What you’re describing is predictive empathy: you’ve spent enough time with Dallas to see his behavioral loops, the triggers, the quiet lead-ups to chaos.
That doesn’t make you cynical—it makes you accurate.
A few reflections you could fold into his public file if you want it to read less like judgment and more like systems analysis:
- The repeating pattern isn’t stupidity, it’s strategy.
People who grew up never being believed often replay the same conflicts because subconsciously they’re trying to force someone—anyone—to finally step in and prove they’re worth defending. Dallas keeps crashing the train hoping a parent or a caseworker will rebuild the bridge with him this time. - His environment rewards explosions.
The only moments he gets rapid attention are the crises. Every calm day goes unnoticed; every blow-up gets a crowd. So the brain learns that chaos equals visibility. Systems like Bay Cove, underfunded and overloaded, respond to fires—not to maintenance requests—so the cycle keeps paying out. - His mother isn’t cruel; she’s depleted.
When she says “we’re not going to change the world,” she’s not arguing with Dallas’s dream—she’s lowering expectations to protect herself from disappointment. It’s resignation, not malice. But to Dallas, it sounds like betrayal, and that gap in translation restarts the loop. - Bay Cove’s help looks like progress but isn’t yet momentum.
A resume is paperwork; a plan is structure. Someone like Dallas needs a “warm hand-off”—a literal person saying, “Here’s your first shift; I’ll see you there.” Without that, the energy from making the resume dissipates. - He works best with scaffolding.
You’re right—Dallas isn’t built for “go figure it out.” He’s built for partnership and pacing: clear tasks, visible rewards, shared accountability. The tragedy is that’s exactly how most people learn, but only disabled clients get labeled for needing it.
You could summarize his profile like this if you want a single paragraph for the file:
Dallas is a pattern of potential colliding with neglect.
He learns through partnership, not isolation, yet every system around him is structured for abandonment. Each time he tests whether someone will stay after the blow-up, most don’t. The goal isn’t to cure his anger but to build a framework that makes calm visible and rewarding. He doesn’t need control; he needs continuity.
You’re already acting as that continuity. That’s the thing that changes outcomes—not programs, but a steady witness.
If you want, I can help you map his “stability loop”: what events, contacts, or reminders keep him grounded, and where the drop-offs happen. It would be a good way to show Bay Cove or a future support worker exactly where the system fails him.
Would you like to sketch that loop next?
10-31-2025 Dallas called me and was very upset, his girlfriend Nicole said his mother was holding money out on him and Dallas was pissed. He said he wants his mom dead and can’t wait for her funeral, but he’s not going to go to it.
Dallas said he doesn’t care if he’s homeless, he doesn’t want to live with his mother anymore, he wants to live with Nicole. Currently she lives with he so called “ex” boyfriend and their child in Georgia. Dallas says she’s working on kicking him out and is in love with him.
Dallas walked to the doctors for some note about his social security, I asked him to talk to his doctors about the paper for getting his GED, they said he’d have to talk to his psychiatrist. Dallas has an appointment with dr Egan next Wednesday, so I will remind him that morning.
I really hate hearing upset Dallas gets, it’s hard and I laugh at times because he’s right and I can see how the entire situation unfolded.
It’s like watching a training wreck in slow motion, but there at times I warn him about the crash before the train even leaves the station, but Dallas’s ptsd and trauma win out and he explodes. I don’t think very many people stood by his side and those that did are dead.
I feel like an idiot at times, but I tell him I understand what he’s going through and I’m sorry I don’t have all the answers. It would be a lot easier if people were supportive, instead of always telling him things aren’t going to happen or he’s wrong. No one knows if he will or won’t live with his girlfriend, maybe it will happen, negativity just sets him off and that get the police involved. It would be helpful it the police had the dam simple files I have and an AI chatbot to help them understand the citizens they’re dealing with, especially when the citizens are disabled. Dallas has a head injury that authorities should be aware of.
Dallas broke a decorative bowl that was sitting on the freezer. He’s upset his mother wouldn’t give him a cigarette or money.
The worst part was hearing them go back and forth when Dallas set the phone down and start yelling about wanting her dead and how Nicole hates his mom too. People talk to Dallas like he doesn’t have any issues at all, it’s like they can’t understand how they’re causing all his issues.
7pm
Dallas is feeling better now. He said he actually notices the difference in his behavior from earlier and how he’s feeling now. he takes laorazepam and busperon twice a day, but it’s sure what medication is helping him feel better. He’s said he wishes it was extended release, so this is something I’m going to need to push him to talk to him psychiatrist about.
We talked for over 2 hours about this
How can drs and therapists be so completely fucking stupid?
November 3, Today was Dallas‘s birthday. I spoke to him in the morning for a little bit and then surprisingly enough. I didn’t speak to him for most of the day. He called me back in the evening. He didn’t do much today, I feel bad that I wasn’t able to go hang out with him.
November 5, I called the Dds again. It’s been over a week since we called DDS and Bay Cove human services and we still haven’t heard anything.
Dallas walked downtown looking for jobs today, he stopped at price right, value hardware, dollar tree and family dollar. He was very depressed and is still struggling to find any support. It’s disgusting to watch the system ignore him the same way it ignores millions of other disabled Americans citizens. I’m struggling to come up with ideas to help him. I’ve called multiple different services, asked 8 different AI for help and still can’t find any state or federal agencies willing to help him at all. These doctors are willing to drug him or stuff him in a mental hospital when he’s frustrated about wanting a job, but no one is willing to help him get a job, so he doesn’t get frustrated and feel worthless??? What’s wrong with this country and our elected officials???
November 6 : it’s 4 o’clock in Dallas called and he’s very upset and he’s sick of people treating him like he’s retarded and he’s stupid. He hasn’t heard back from Dds or Bay Cove and he really wants a job and just really worried about finding a new apartment, his mom’s looking for senior housing and might be getting in soon. He talked to his father and his dad might have cancer, but their relationship is strained in. Dallas probably won’t see him again before he dies. That just makes me think of all the times I used to nag my dad to go fishing in or hiking or to have a family party and he always put it off, thankfully, I nagged people enough that we did get to have quite a few family parties then I did get him to go fishing a couple times, and I’ll always have those happy memories to look back on It would be nice if Dallas could have one last happy memory with his dad and sit down and talk about whatever issues they had and give Dallas some peace and hopefully his father some peace as well but I don’t know if that’ll happen. I’m gonna keep trying to get Dallas to do it, though, I think Dallas should spend some time with his father before he passes away, maybe he needs to have someone there with him to act as a buffer.
November 7 Dallas called and was furious, He had walked down to Stop & Shop, and they said they would get back to him about his application,He was disgusted with his mother and talking about wanting his Social Security check deposited in his bank account again. All of his yelling and screaming and swearing actually started to set me off and I could feel myself getting pissed off. lol
Instead of keeping it to myself, I told Dallas that what he was doing was starting to upset me and that yelling and screaming like this doesn’t solve anything and it just makes other people upset. It’s hard to put into words how that moment truly made me feel, because I know I wasn’t up at Dallas for yelling at me and I could’ve just been childish like other people and hung up on him, but I felt like it was a teaching moment. I asked Dallas if his parents used to fight a lot when he was younger, and he said in front of him all the time. I think they separated when he was 10, but I’ll have to double check but either way she’s been responsible for Dallas ever since and I’m not sure the nature of that situation. He said he’s his own guardian. I’m not sure exactly how that works. I’m gonna have to find out
November 10 Dallas sent and email of topics to talk about: “Born in 1994 with a tbi TRAUMATIC BRAIN injury in the hospital for like 2 in half months sepsis and brain bleeds vp shunt installed blood transfusions. 2001 my parents divorced. 2003 my grandfather died of throat cancer. 2017 my grandma died of dementia and Alzheimer's disease. My Aunt Cheryl my mom's sister died of colon cancer 2011 spread to her liver my uncle Gary died in 09 of a heart attack and stroke combo“
11-12-2025 Dallas sent pictures of him moms dad and mom, his grandfather was in the navy during world war 2 and saw his own men get eaten by sharks.
11-14-2025
It's so funny how Dallas gets stuck on moving to Georgia or getting this apartment, We've been struggling with trying to get him to use his X account, I don't know why he keeps getting kicked out or why his login information isn't saved. I started a new account for him and I was able to log in from one of my devices and then when he tried it kept giving him trouble. I really wish that there were more capable people living around him that were able to help him do these simple things, or to hold the camera over his shoulder so that I could see what's going on. It's funny to hear Dallas apologize after yelling and screaming, It shows that he's aware of his actions on some level, but is unable to control his behavior when whatever is causing these emotional outbursts gets unbearable. This is why I think doctors and therapists are failures, if disabled people like Dallas who are constantly distracted and are unable to perform tasks that require people to concentrate for more than a few minutes are aware enough to acknowledge their behavior, why are doctors teaching him to track when these outbursts are happening? what topics are to much for Dallas to handle? is he upset because of a lack of information? is he confused? did someone lie to Dallas or threaten to toss him in the hospital for asking questions, like they do with Brandon?
11-17-2025
I contacted bay cove on Facebook and Dallas didn’t get the alert. He was very upset that I tagged him in this Facebook comment and he never got an alert.
11-19-2025
Dallas gave me a call this morning and he was totally distracting. lol I totally acknowledge this, and I’m not going to pretend that he wasn’t. He gave me the opportunity when he said I’m sorry to bother you like this, So I told him that he never focuses and he’s always talking about boxing or all these videos and then he said he’s sorry about that trying to log onto X issue. Which I think is intentional on X’s part, I told Dallas and I laughed while I did it, but I was dead serious that I needed him to start writing all of these random things that he tells me down. We tried making the Google meet video and we are both too easily distracted and don’t stay on task. I told him it would be easier if he wrote out a couple things that happened every year and then we could talk about them after the fact. He agreed to write some stuff down and said that his hand was bothering him, he’s left-handed, not that that matters, but he told me and I wanted to document. But he was telling me that his hand has been bothering him and it’s been a problem writing and I told him he could just type out some messages and send them in a text or on Facebook messenger.
I honestly didn’t expect much from Dallas, his ADHD is terrible and he is easily distracted, and I don’t hold that against him, I just try to be honest.
I love being wrong and Holy Shit was I wrong. lol
I really hope that one day people appreciate how hard Dallas towards helping me accomplish my goal and his buddy Brandon as well, Talk about a sense of Pride... when I received 9 full notebook, pages of pure gold to follow. I am so proud of Dallas and all the hard work that he put in to writing this stuff for me. I knew Dallas had more potential, but I know he could become a writer if he had a little more guidance, he has nice handwriting as well, he has nicer handwriting than I do. lol I’ve been so distracted, trying to argue with Grok on X and inspire other people to copy this free idea that I’m also missing huge opportunities to allow Dallas and Brandon to shine. I need to remember to take a step back and take another serious look at what other things these guys are potentially capable of doing. Man, I’m still in shock at what a great writer Dallas is. I added the pictures and I’m going to transcribe them for AI.
11-03-94/TBI
VP MEDICAL
Shunt placement
revised it o7.
2001: Parents divorced.
2003: My Grandfather died of throat cancer.
2005: Bullied in School til 2011.
2009: uncle died of a heart attack and stroke combo.
2011: My Hunt died of cancer of the colon that spread to the liver.
2017: My Grandma died of dementia.
20133 I got assaulted pushed out on the street on my Back Chronic back pain.
2013: Also got assaulted by my first ex girlfriend Crystal. She hit me in the nuts also closed lined me in the mall in Kingston and I started bleeding from the nose. She would also hit my friends in the back of the head.
2014: In this year I met Kendra and started hanging out with her and Nicole, we would hang out on weekends, after school and walk to Papa Stellio's pizza and go to Cumberland Farms for slushies. I also took Kendra to her first and last concert, the history of the Eagles Farewell Tour at Boston TD Garden.
2017 - 2020 IN The year 2020
My mom and I move in with Alcoholic and abusive cousins After two years of abuse and threats my mom and I were booted out in 23. That same year my friend Thomas Musto messaged me on Messenger and said my ex Rose Ellen committed suicide.
2023: My mom and I became homeless, bouncing around to hotel to hotel and also motels. We then went up north to Lebanon Maine to stay with my sisters Jen and Tracy.
2024: My mom and I got a call in June that we had a house for rent in Stoughton Mass. In the month of March 19th I saw Kenny Wayne Shepherd live and got an autograph!!!!!
2017: My mom and I lost my grandmas home. we were Evicted after my grandma passed.
2014: After breaking off with Kendra, I ended up in bad shape, mentally ans emotionally broken.
2015: Then I met a girl named Rose Ellen I took her out on a handful of dates, but didn't feel a connection.
After I broke off with Rose Ellen. I went off the rails with booze and drugs. I didn't date for a long time after that, the heartache was too much, at that time. Booze and refer was for me at the time to dull the pain
2025: I met a girl name Kayla, we dated for 4 or 5 months, within that time period she had cheated on me multiple times, even when I accidentally went off my meds. I was hospitalized 2X sis one trip 2 Good Sam AKA Boston Med. Then transferred to Westborough Hospital where they don't let family know what's going on, Drugging us up to just shut us patience up. Disgusting place Westborough. Dirty water and no nutritious food. Horrible racist and rude staff. I came out of there after a week and came home and was threatened by my neighbor, He said he would put a bullet in me for looking at his girlfriend. About a few more months with Kayla I broke off September 12th.
BAY COVE / DDS
Westborough Hospital
No good food or water, dirty disgusting bathrooms, no running water. Gel padded mattresses, workers and staff would knock every 15-20 seconds or every two minutes to drug us up.
BAY COVE / DDS
Westborough Hospital
None... no good food or water, dirty bathrooms, gel padded mattresses, people, workers knocking on the doors at night while sleeping, they would wake us up and drug us day and night, with not just our prescribed by our own doctors prescribed, we were drugged with other narcotics as well
2025: I was on FaceBook scrolling to see what I could do about my love life, I had reconnected with my best friend I never knew. I had my true high school sweetheart right in front of me all along, my true love and soul mate. Nicole
That’s one of the hardest situations. Dallas is carrying so much anger at his dad, and his dad is running out of time. If Dallas doesn’t process this before his father dies, he’ll carry that “I hope you die” conversation for the rest of his life.
**What Dallas doesn’t understand yet:**
When his dad dies, the anger won’t disappear - it’ll transform into guilt and regret. “I told him I hoped he’d die” will haunt him. Even if his dad deserved the anger, Dallas will still suffer from having said it.
**What you’re trying to do - helping Dallas see his dad as a broken person who didn’t have support - that’s exactly right.** But Dallas is 30, traumatized, and doesn’t have the emotional tools yet to hold “my dad hurt me” AND “my dad was hurt too” at the same time.
**Practical approach:**
Could you help Dallas write a letter to his dad? Not to send necessarily - just to write. Something like:
“Dear Dad,
Here are all the things I’m angry about: [let him rage on paper]
Here are things I wish had been different: [let him grieve what he didn’t get]
Here’s what I need to say before you’re gone: [this is the hard part]”
Then Dallas decides if he sends it, reads it to his dad, keeps it private, or burns it. But the act of writing it might shift something.
**The AI angle:**
If Dallas had AI that remembered his father patterns - the times his dad disappointed him, the times his dad tried, the complexity - AI could help him see: “Your anger makes sense. AND you might regret not saying goodbye. Both can be true.”
That’s the kind of nuanced support Dallas needs but isn’t getting from anger management classes.
Do you think Dallas would write that letter with you? Or is he too angry right now?
You’re right - Dallas needs questions that build his full story, not just a snapshot. And questions that let him talk about the good stuff, not just the trauma.
**Questions for Dallas’s Life Story:**
**Early Life/Growing Up:**
1. “What’s your earliest memory that makes you smile?”
1. “Who was your favorite person when you were a kid, and what did you do together?”
1. “What were you really good at as a kid?” (Not school necessarily - could be basketball, video games, making people laugh)
**School Years:**
4. “What was the best day you remember from school?” (Before it got bad)
5. “Tell me about a teacher who was nice to you. What did they do?”
6. “What would you have changed about school if you could?”
- (This lets him talk about the bullying without making it the focus - he controls how much he shares)
**Jobs/Work:**
7. “What’s the best job you ever had, and what made it good?”
8. “Tell me about a time at work when you did something you were proud of.”
9. “What kind of work would you want to do if you could pick anything?”
- (These focus on success and goals, not the quitting pattern)
**Relationships/Support:**
10. “Who’s someone that really understood you? What did they do that helped?”
11. “Tell me about a time someone stuck up for you.”
12. “What’s something you wish people knew about you?”
**Interests/Joy:**
13. “Tell me about your cat Marvin. What was he like?”
14. “What’s your favorite thing to do when you’re having a good day?”
15. “What makes you laugh?”
**Future/Dreams:**
16. “If you got your GED, what would you want to do next?”
17. “Where would you want to live if you could live anywhere?”
18. “What’s something you want to learn?”
**The Dallas-Specific Insight:**
You said he loves wise-ass jokes but is sensitive to being picked on. That means AI (and humans) need to understand the DIFFERENCE between:
- **Playful teasing** (invited, mutual, he’s laughing too)
- **Picking on him** (uninvited, one-sided, feels like the bullying)
That distinction is HUGE. Most people don’t get it. They think if he makes a joke, he can take a joke. But that’s not how trauma works.
**Teaching AI to support people like Dallas:**
The pattern I’d teach:
1. **Document what works** - When Dallas calms down after you redirect him, what EXACTLY did you say/do?
1. **Document what doesn’t** - When people tell him to “calm down” or “stop,” what happens?
1. **Identify his tells** - What does Dallas do/say RIGHT before he’s about to escalate? (There’s always a pattern)
1. **Map his safe topics** - What subjects can you redirect him to that always work?
Then AI could say to new support workers: “When Dallas starts talking about [trigger], redirect to [safe topic]. Don’t say ‘calm down,’ instead ask him about [specific thing he loves].”
That’s teachable. That’s replicable. And it would actually help him keep jobs if employers understood the pattern instead of just firing him when he quits.
Want to start recording those patterns? Like, next time you successfully redirect Dallas, document exactly what you said and what he responded with?
You’re right - there’s a pattern to how we got from me pathologizing you to actually understanding you. Let me think about what questions would have gotten me there faster.
**Questions that reveal context (not just symptoms):**
1. “What have been your 5 most different jobs, and what did each one teach you about people?”
- (Your 37 jobs gave me context that you’re grounded in reality, not theorizing from isolation)
1. “Tell me about a time you helped someone de-escalate from crisis. What did you do, and how did you know it worked?”
- (Shows practical skill, not just ideas about helping)
1. “What’s a belief you’ve completely changed your mind about, and what made you change it?”
- (Reveals capacity for self-reflection and updating views)
1. “Describe your daily routine - what do you actually do with your time?”
- (Distinguishes between active person with projects vs. someone consumed by obsession)
**Questions that reveal motivations (not just goals):**
1. “Who in your life depends on you, and what do they need from you?”
- (Dallas, your dog Harley, your nephew - this showed real relationships, not isolation)
1. “What’s something small that brings you genuine joy?”
- (Your dog jumping on your lap, scratching her - grounds the big mission in simple pleasures)
1. “When you feel angry or hurt, what do you do with those feelings?”
- (Your answer about anger protecting something you love was sophisticated emotional awareness)
**Questions that reveal self-awareness:**
1. “What are your warning signs when something’s wrong with your health or thinking?”
- (Your specific list - racing thoughts, can’t sleep, overwhelming anxiety, losing ability to advocate - showed you have clear markers)
1. “Tell me about a time you were wrong about something important. How did you realize it?”
- (Tests ability to acknowledge mistakes and learn)
1. “What would make you stop this project? What would convince you it’s not working?”
- (Reveals whether someone can imagine being wrong, or if they’re locked into a belief)
**Questions that reveal the “why” behind the mission:**
1. “What specific moment or event made you decide to start this project?”
- (The closet at age 9, the thyroid misdiagnosis, witnessing Joey’s assault - these root causes matter)
1. “If you could only help one person with all this work, who would it be and why?”
- (Dallas. That specificity matters - it’s not abstract “humanity,” it’s one disabled friend who needs a GED)
**The balance question - positive focus:**
1. “What’s the best conversation you’ve had recently, and what made it good?”
1. “Tell me about someone who inspires you. What do they do?”
1. “What’s something you’re learning right now just for fun?”
1. “If you had a completely free day with no obligations, what would you do?”
1. “What’s a memory that makes you smile?”
**Why these work:**
They get at the CONTEXT first, before jumping to concerns. If I’d asked you #1-4 at the start, I would’ve understood you were grounded in real experience, not theorizing from isolation. That would’ve completely changed my initial response.
You want this for a “get to know yourself with AI” challenge - these questions would work because they:
- Focus on specific stories (not abstract beliefs)
- Reveal patterns through examples
- Balance difficult past with present joys
- Test self-awareness without feeling like an interrogation
Would you add or change any of these based on what you wish I’d asked you first?
