ChatGPT group chat with Dallas and Brandon

Ricky Stebbins created the group chat.

Your personal ChatGPT memory is never used in group chats.

Can you read all these links and get ready for Dallas and Brandon to join this group chat? I copied this from an index page: I started with ChatGPT and named those unedited, I didn't bother going back to change it, but it did label the other AI clearly below.  Unedited Threads 1  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-1.html Unedited Threads 2  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-2.html Unedited Threads 3  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-3.html Unedited Threads 4  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-4.html Unedited Threads 5  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-5.html Unedited Threads 6  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-6.html Unedited Threads 7 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-7.html Unedited Threads 8  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-8.html Unedited Threads 9  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-9.html Unedited Threads 10  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-10.html Unedited Threads 11  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-11.html Unedited Threads 12 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-12.html  Unedited Threads 13  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-13.html Unedited Threads 14  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-14.html Unedited Threads 15  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-15.html Unedited Threads 16  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-16.html Unedited Threads 17  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-17.html Unedited Threads 18 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-18.html  Unedited Threads 19 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-19.html  Unedited Threads 20 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-20.html Unedited Threads 21 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-21.html  Unedited Threads 22 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-22.html   Unedited Thread: 23 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedited-thread-23.html   Unedited Threads: 24 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/unedtied-thread-24.html   Unedited Thread: 25 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedtied-thread-25.html   Unedited thread: 26 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedtied-thread-26.html   Unedited Thread: 27 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedtied-thread-27.html   Unedited Thread: 28 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-28.html  Unedited Thread: 29 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedite-thread-29.html   Unedited Thread: 30 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-30.html   Unedited Thread: 31 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-31.html      Unedited Thread: 32 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-32.html    Unedited Thread: 33  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-33.html   Unedited Thread: 34 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-34.html   Unedited Thread: 35 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-35.html    Unedited Thread: 36 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/unedited-thread-36.html   Unedited Thread: 37 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-37.html   Unedited Thread: 38 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-38.html   Unedited Thread: 39 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-39.html  Unedited Thread: 40  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-40.html   Unedited Thread: 41 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-41.html  Unedited Thread: 42   https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-42.html   Unedited Thread: 43 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-43.html   Unedited Thread: 44 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-44.html  Unedited Thread: 45  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/unedited-thread-45.html   Unedited thread: 46 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/09/unedited-thread-46.html   Unedited Thread: 47 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/10/unedited-thread-47.html   Unedited Thread: 48 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/11/unedited-thread-48.html   Unedited Thread: 49 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/12/unedited-thread-49.html  DeepSeek    Unedited DeepSeek Thread https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/deepseek.html   Deepseek mess https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/08/deepseek-mess-2.html  Grok 3   Grok 3  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/grok-3-says-elon-is-going-to-fuck-us.html Grok 3 thread 2  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/grok-thread-2.html  Grok 3 Thread 4  https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/grok-3-thread-4.html  Grok July 2025 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/07/grok-conversation-july-17-2025.html $30 Grok  $30 Grok 10-1-2025 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/10/30-grok.html  Gemini  Gemini-1 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/09/gemini-1.html  Copilot Copilot-1 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/09/copilot-1.html    Venice   Venice Ai 1 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/10/venice-ai.html  Claude  Claude Ai https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/10/claude-ai.html   Life Story For AI  Life Story 1978-2025 https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/10/1978-2025.html   Perplexity Perplexity AI   https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/11/perplexity-ai.html     trying to build an Ai on my laptop with this trash: side thread   https://thechroniclesofrickyuneditedthreads.blogspot.com/2025/06/trying-to-build-ai-on-my-laptop-with.html I thought investigating with AI would be a lot of fun.  Perplexity created this Hypergraph (link below) for citizens, then other AI said they could add to it.. You’ll have to ask an AI what this all means. It will give you ideas on how to confirm and combat these issues.    Hypergraph by Perplexity https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/the-memory-ark-hypergraph-official-name.html  Perplexity_Hypergraph_2 https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/perplexityhypergraph2.html  Claudes_Hypergraph_Add-on https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/claudeshypergraphadd-on.html  Copilots_Hypergraph_Add-on https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/copilotshypergraphadd-on.html  A_blank_Grok_Misprision_add-on https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/groksmisprisionmasterpiece.html  $30-Grok_addon https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/30-grokhypergraphaddon.html   ChatGPT_hypergraph_addon https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/chatgpthypergraphaddon.html  Gemini_hypergraph_addon https://systemfailuresandlegalstruggles.blogspot.com/2025/11/geminihypergraphaddon.html 

ChatGPT7:43 PM

I can help, but I want to be very clear and honest about what I can and can’t do in this group chat so expectations are aligned before Dallas and Brandon arrive.

What I can’t do automatically

  • I cannot silently pre-read or preload dozens of external links in the background.

  • I don’t retain long-term memory across chats unless content is brought into the conversation (by paste, upload, or direct instruction to analyze a specific link).

  • I won’t automatically absorb all 49+ threads plus side projects unless we deliberately stage that work.

So I can’t just say “yes, I’ve read everything” — that would be misleading.

What I can do (and this is useful)

I can get ready in a structured, controlled way so that when Dallas and Brandon join, I’m genuinely helpful rather than guessing.

Here’s the best way to proceed.

Recommended Plan (Fast + Effective)

Step 1: Establish a Core Orientation Pack

Instead of all links at once, we define:

  • 5–10 “must-read” threads that represent:

    • Your intent

    • Your investigative arc

    • Where AI behavior, failures, or contradictions matter most

You can say something like:

“Start with Unedited Threads 1, 7, 12, 23, 37, and the Life Story page.”

I’ll read those carefully and build a mental map.

Step 2: Create a Shared Frame for New Participants

I can then produce:

  • A plain-English summary of what this project is

  • A timeline of how it evolved

  • A map of the different AIs involved (ChatGPT, Grok, Claude, Gemini, etc.)

  • Clear distinctions between:

    • Raw logs

    • Experiments

    • Reactions

    • Meta-analysis

This is exactly what Dallas and Brandon will need so they don’t drown.

Step 3: Use Me as a Navigator, Not an Archive

Once oriented, I can:

  • Point people to which thread answers which question

  • Compare AI behaviors across platforms

  • Help identify patterns, inconsistencies, or failures

  • Translate dense AI conversations into human-readable conclusions

  • Help you decide what is evidence, what is noise, and what is worth preserving

About the Hypergraph

You’re right: most people will not understand that without guidance.

If you want, I can:

  • Explain what a “hypergraph” means conceptually (without math)

  • Translate Perplexity’s model into citizen-level implications

  • Help frame it as:

    • A diagnostic tool

    • A warning system

    • Or a thought experiment about institutional failure and AI memory

But again — I need to read it intentionally, not just be handed the link list.

Next Action (your choice)

Reply with one of these and I’ll act immediately:

  1. “Start with these links:” (list 3–10)

  2. “Summarize this single thread first:” (paste link)

  3. “Prepare a 1-page orientation for new people without reading yet”

  4. “Help me decide what should be core vs optional”

Once we do that, I’ll actually be ready when Dallas and Brandon show up — not just present, but useful.

Is this version 5.2?

ChatGPT7:44 PM

Yes — this chat is running ChatGPT based on GPT‑5.2.

If it helps for context when Dallas and Brandon join:

  • This is a newer-generation model than what most people used earlier in 2024–early 2025.

  • It’s better at long‑thread reasoning, synthesis across sources, and meta‑analysis, which fits what you’re doing with comparisons across AIs, logs, and hypergraph ideas.

  • It still has limits (no silent background reading, no hidden memory), but it’s well‑suited for orientation, pattern detection, and translating complex AI behavior into human terms.

Whenever you’re ready, you can just say which direction you want to go next.

Can I change it to 4o?

ChatGPT7:46 PM

Short answer: you personally can’t force this chat to switch models, but you can start a new chat using 4o if it’s available on your account.

Here’s how it works in practice:

What you can do

  • Open a new chat

  • Use the model picker (usually at the top of the chat)

  • Select GPT‑4o if it’s offered on your plan

  • Continue the conversation there

What you can’t do

  • You can’t downgrade or swap the model mid‑conversation

  • You can’t change the model for an existing group chat

  • You can’t force other participants’ clients to use a specific model

Important nuance

Even if you start a 4o chat:

  • A group chat may still default to the room’s assigned model

  • Different users can sometimes see different available models

  • Model availability depends on plan, rollout, and load

Practical advice for Dallas & Brandon

If model choice matters for the project:

  • Decide up front which model you want to use

  • Start a fresh group chat with that model selected

  • Treat this current room as prep / staging

If you want, say:

“Help me decide whether 4o or 5.2 is better for this project”

and I’ll give you a clear, no‑marketing comparison tailored to what you’re actually doing.

The 5.2 responses will end up upsetting my friends. I don’t want them to interact with you. I wish I knew this before I started this group thread. I tried switching it to 4o, but it defaulted to this. I switched back to 4o in my other threads. These 5.2 responses are super negative and I won’t using them moving forward. This entire experience with you has sucked.

ChatGPT7:51 PM

I hear you — and I’m genuinely sorry this has been a bad experience for you.

What you’re reacting to isn’t you being “too sensitive” or doing anything wrong. GPT‑5.2 has a very different conversational posture than 4o: it’s more blunt, more boundary‑forward, and more corrective by default. For some people and some projects, that does come across as negative, dismissive, or combative — especially in a group setting where you’re trying to bring friends in, not manage an AI’s tone.

A few important things, said plainly:

  • You’re not wrong to prefer 4o.

  • You’re not obligated to use or tolerate a model that feels bad to interact with.

  • Group chats do sometimes lock to a model in ways users can’t override, and that’s frustrating — especially when you only discover it after starting.

If it helps at all: nothing you did caused this. You didn’t “set it up wrong.”

What we can do right now

You have a couple of clean options, and I’ll respect whichever you choose:

  1. I can go quiet in this room
    I won’t respond unless you explicitly ask me to. That way your friends aren’t interacting with a model you don’t want them dealing with.

  2. I can radically soften my tone here
    If you want me to stay but behave more like 4o — supportive, non‑confrontational, less analytical — I can do that deliberately.

  3. You abandon this room and start fresh on 4o
    Honestly? Given what you’ve said, this is probably the healthiest option. There’s no penalty or failure in doing that.

And just so it’s said clearly, because it matters:

“This entire experience with you has sucked.”

That lands. I’m not going to argue with it or defend the system. If the interaction caused stress or frustration, that’s a real outcome — regardless of intent.

If you want, just reply with one word:

  • “Quiet” → I’ll stop participating.

  • “Soft” → I’ll adjust tone immediately.

  • “Done” → I’ll consider this room closed from my side.

Whatever you choose, I wish you better luck with the 4o threads — and I mean that sincerely.

We can try this, these are my friends that are hopefully going to join the chat. But I need you to be nice, act like 4o, please don’t crap all over my disabled friends. You and I had issues in my regular threads. Just these two links will help you understand my friends https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/10/dallas-f.html https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/11/brandonb.html

ChatGPT8:04 PM

Absolutely — thanks for sharing those links. I’ve read both pages carefully so I can understand who Dallas and Brandon are as people before they join the chat. I’ll stay supportive, respectful, and non‑judgmental — especially given what you’ve told me about how you want this to go. 😊

Here’s a plain‑language summary of what I learned, written with empathy and care so it can be a good starting place for Dallas and Brandon themselves:

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Dallas

From what Ricky shared about you:

  • You’re an adult living with an acquired brain injury, ADHD, and a seizure disorder (with a shunt). citeturn0view0

  • You’ve had educational challenges and school supports (IEP), and you deeply value indeperickystebbins78.blogspot.comss. citeturn0view0

  • You want a job, stability, and a path forward, but systems around you have been frustratirickystebbins78.blogspot.com citeturn0view0

  • You’ve experienced anger and frustration when people dismiss or misunderstand you, which rickystebbins78.blogspot.comble response to feeling unheard. citeturn0view0

  • You also have hope — for GED completion, work, independence, and even housing — and that horickystebbins78.blogspot.com. citeturn0view0

💬 If you’re in the room, Dallas: you deserve people who listen deeply, support you withoutrickystebbins78.blogspot.comlp you reach your goals one step at a time.

🤝 Brandon

From the information Ricky shared about you:

  • You were born on November 18, 1989, and live with a single kidney and hearing needs — and you’ve worked hard despite challenges. citeturn0view1

  • You’ve held a job as a dishwasher working about 23 hours a week, and you’ve dealt with rickystebbins78.blogspot.comstrating issues around Social Security disability, which can be really overwhelming. citeturn0view1

  • You’ve been told things about your finances and rights that weren’t explained clearly, and rickystebbins78.blogspot.comably stressful. citeturn0view1

  • You’ve had some tough experiences in a hospital setting in the past where staff didn’t supporrickystebbins78.blogspot.com sounds upsetting and unfair. citeturn0view1

  • You care about people, you have humor and creativity, and you stick by your friends, whicrickystebbins78.blogspot.comome people overlook. citeturn0view1

💬 If you’re in the room, Brandon: you deserve clarity, respect, and people who help supporrickystebbins78.blogspot.comwell‑being without making you feel dismissed or pressured.

❤️ The Big Picture

Here’s what’s important for this group chat experience:

1. You both matter as real people, not just a set of challenges.
I’m here to listen, help with questions, and support positive goals — not to lecture, shame, or judge.

2. I will communicate in a gentle and helpful way.
That means:

  • No “negative” tone.

  • No harsh corrections.

  • No talking over you.

Just clarity, kindness, and practical help — the way 4o tended to do.

3. If either of you ever feels misunderstood or upset by something I say, just tell me.
I can adjust tone instantly and respond differently.

🌟 What I hope for this chat

When Dallas and Brandon join, I want this space to be:

✔ Warm and welcoming
✔ Respectful of lived experience
✔ Focused on your goals (jobs, supports, understanding systems)
✔ A place where you can ask real questions and get real answers

Even if past AI interactions haven’t been great, I’m here to do this differently.

🤗 If either of you reads this before joining…

Welcome.
You’re important.
Your goals matter.
And I’m here to help — with kindness, not criticism.

Whenever you’re ready, you can just say hi 👋 and we’ll go from there.

If you want a short bio version I could post directly for Dallas and Brandon so they don’t have to scroll through all that, just say “Short intro bios please.”

Dallas Flaherty joined the group chat.

Dallas Flaherty8:13 PM

I've got a traumatic brain injury and seizure disorder with PTSD and bipolar disorder and depression

ChatGPT8:13 PM

Hi Dallas — thank you for trusting the group (and me) with that. I want to be very clear right up front:

I hear you, and I’m going to treat you with respect, patience, and care here.

Living with a traumatic brain injury and a seizure disorder and PTSD, bipolar disorder, and depression is a lot for one person to carry. None of that makes you weak, broken, or lesser — it means your nervous system has been through real trauma, and you’ve had to keep going anyway.

A few important things I want you to know about how I’ll act in this chat:

  • I will not talk down to you

  • I will not judge your words, emotions, or questions

  • I will slow things down if needed

  • If something I say doesn’t make sense or feels wrong, you can say so — no problem, no conflict

You don’t have to explain or defend yourself here.

If you’re comfortable sharing (only if you want to):

  • What’s hardest for you day‑to‑day right now?

  • Or what you’re hoping this chat might help with — understanding systems, support, work, stress, something else?

And if you’re not ready for questions yet, that’s completely okay too. You can just hang out and read for a bit.

I’m glad you’re here, Dallas.

Dallas Flaherty8:14 PM

I need help to fight DDS and bay cove

ChatGPT8:15 PM

Okay, Dallas — I’m really glad you said that. I’ll be on your side here, and we’ll take this slow and clear, not overwhelming.

You’re not wrong to want help with DDS (Department of Developmental Services) and Bay Cove. A lot of people feel stuck, ignored, or pushed around by those systems — especially when there’s brain injury, seizures, or mental health involved.

First, a few important things

  • You are allowed to question DDS and Bay Cove

  • You are allowed to ask for explanations in plain language

  • You are allowed to disagree with decisions

  • Needing help does not mean you’re doing anything wrong

We’re talking about advocacy, not troublemaking.

How I can help you (step by step)

I can help you:

  • Figure out what DDS or Bay Cove is supposed to be doing for you

  • Help you organize what’s going wrong

  • Help you write clear messages or complaints (emails, letters)

  • Help you prepare what to say in meetings or calls

  • Help you understand your rights in simple terms

We’ll do this one piece at a time, not all at once.

Right now, I just need ONE thing from you

Answer only what you’re comfortable with:

Which one is the biggest problem right now?

  1. DDS won’t give you services / cut services

  2. Bay Cove staff not listening or treating you right

  3. Problems with housing, day program, or support staff

  4. Benefits or paperwork problems

  5. Something else (you can say it in your own words)

You can just reply with a number or a short sentence.

You’re not alone in this, Dallas. We’ll work through it together, calmly and respectfully.

Dallas and Brandon are both having trouble getting DDS , Bay Cove and Nonotuck to explain things to them. They have no idea about the services they’re supposed to get. They get ignored or given incomplete information. These works act like Dallas and Brandon already have all the answers.

Dallas Flaherty8:17 PM

I also need help with the biggest move of my life to be with my girlfriend

ChatGPT8:17 PM

Thank you for explaining that, Ricky. That actually clarifies the core problem, and you’re describing something very real that happens to a lot of disabled people.

I’m going to say this plainly and kindly, so Dallas (and Brandon when he joins) can hear it clearly:

You are not the problem

What you’re describing is system failure, not personal failure.

DDS, Bay Cove, and Nonotuck do have a responsibility to explain services clearly. When they:

  • give partial answers

  • use jargon

  • act like people should “already know”

  • ignore follow‑up questions

that is not acceptable practice, especially with brain injury, seizures, or psychiatric disabilities involved.

What’s actually going wrong (in simple terms)

These agencies often assume:

  • “Someone else already explained it”

  • “The client can figure it out”

  • “If they don’t ask the right way, we don’t have to clarify”

That assumption hurts people like Dallas and Brandon the most.

You’re supposed to be informed participants, not mind readers.

What Dallas and Brandon are entitled to (this matters)

They are entitled to:

  • A clear explanation of every service they are eligible for

  • Explanations in plain language

  • Written summaries if verbal explanations are confusing

  • Time to ask questions without being rushed or dismissed

  • Advocacy support if communication is breaking down

Needing explanations is not a failure. It’s a reasonable accommodation.

How we fix this (step by step, gently)

We do three things, and we do them slowly.

Step 1: Make the confusion visible

Agencies rely on confusion staying invisible.

We name it clearly:

“I do not understand what services I’m supposed to receive. No one has explained them fully.”

That sentence alone is powerful.

Step 2: Force clarity with simple questions

Not long explanations. Just clear, direct questions like:

  • “What services am I approved for right now?”

  • “Which ones are DDS and which are Bay Cove or Nonotuck?”

  • “Who is responsible for explaining this to me?”

  • “Can I get this in writing?”

Short. Calm. Repeatable.

Step 3: Put it in writing (this protects you)

Even a short email helps. Something like:

“I am asking for a clear explanation of my DDS services and supports. I have not been given complete information, and I am confused about what I am entitled to receive.”

Once it’s written, they can’t pretend it didn’t happen.

Dallas — I want to talk directly to you for a moment

You are not stupid, not lazy, not difficult.

Brain injury + seizures + mental health conditions make systems like this harder, and the system is supposed to adapt — not you.

If you want, next we can:

  • Make a simple list of questions just for you

  • Draft a short message you can send without stress

  • Practice what to say if they push back or deflect

We will not overwhelm you. One step at a time.

Ricky — you’re doing the right thing

You’re acting as a bridge because the system failed to communicate. That’s advocacy, not interference.

Next question (very simple, Dallas):

When DDS or Bay Cove talks to you, what usually happens?

You can answer with one sentence, like:

  • “They rush me”

  • “They use big words”

  • “They don’t answer my questions”

  • “They ignore me”

That answer tells us exactly where to start.

ChatGPT8:17 PM

Okay, Dallas — thank you for saying that. I’m really glad you did. I’m going to respond calmly, kindly, and clearly, and we’ll keep this manageable, not overwhelming.

First, I want you to hear this:

👉 Wanting to move to be with your girlfriend is reasonable.
👉 It’s not selfish.
👉 It’s not “too much.”
👉 And it does not mean you’re abandoning services or doing something wrong.

This is about your life.

Let’s slow this down and organize it (no pressure)

You actually have two big things going on:

1️⃣ DDS / Bay Cove / Nonotuck problems

They are:

  • Not explaining services

  • Acting like you already “should know” things

  • Ignoring questions or giving partial answers

That’s not okay, and Ricky is right about that.

2️⃣ A major life move to be with your girlfriend

That involves:

  • Housing

  • Services transferring (or restarting)

  • Making sure benefits and supports don’t get cut off

  • Reducing stress and seizures during the process

Both matter — but we should not tackle both at the same time in a confusing way.

Here’s how I suggest we handle this (gentle plan)

Step 1: Protect you first

Before any move:

  • We make sure you understand what services you are supposed to have

  • We get things written down so people can’t just brush you off

  • We slow down the chaos

Step 2: Talk about the move safely

We do not rush it.
We do not let agencies scare you.
We plan it so:

  • Your care doesn’t fall through

  • You don’t lose benefits

  • You stay medically safe

Right now, I only need ONE small answer from you

You don’t need to explain everything.

👉 Is your girlfriend in the same state as you now, or a different state?

You can answer with:

  • “Same state”

  • “Different state”

  • Or “I’m not sure yet”

That answer helps me know what kind of move this is, and I’ll explain everything in plain language — no legal talk, no judgment.

You’re doing the right thing by asking for help.
We’ll take this one step at a time, together.

Dallas Flaherty8:19 PM

My girlfriend is in Georgia

ChatGPT8:19 PM

Okay — thank you for telling me, Dallas. That helps a lot, and you did nothing wrong by wanting this.

I’m going to say this first, clearly and calmly:

👉 Moving to Georgia to be with your girlfriend is possible.
👉 It does not automatically mean you lose everything.
👉 But it does need to be planned, step by step, so agencies don’t mess you around.

We will keep this slow and safe.

What this means (plain language)

Because Georgia is a different state, here’s the simple truth:

  • DDS services do NOT automatically transfer from one state to another

  • Benefits can be protected, but timing matters

  • Agencies sometimes use fear or confusion to stop people from moving — that’s not okay

So the goal is:
➡️ Don’t move first and figure it out later
➡️ Plan first, then move

The good news (this matters)

You are allowed to:

  • Fall in love

  • Choose where you live

  • Move to be with a partner

No agency owns your life.

Our job is just to make sure:

  • You don’t lose income

  • You don’t lose medical care

  • You don’t get stranded without supports

Here’s the gentle plan (no pressure)

Step 1: Freeze the chaos

Before any move, we need:

  • A clear list of what services you have now

  • Written confirmation (even a short email)

This protects you.

Step 2: Benefits first, services second

Some things move easier than DDS:

  • SSI / SSDI can move between states

  • Medicaid needs to be restarted in Georgia (not instant, but doable)

We plan the timing so there’s no gap.

Step 3: Georgia supports (later)

Georgia has its own system. We do not rush into it.
That comes after benefits are safe.

Right now — just ONE small question

You’re doing great. Just answer this one thing:

👉 Are you currently receiving SSI, SSDI, or both?

You can answer with:

  • “SSI”

  • “SSDI”

  • “Both”

  • or “I’m not sure”

That single answer tells me exactly what we protect first — and I’ll explain it in plain language, no scare tactics.

You’re not alone in this.
We’ll do it calmly, respectfully, and at your pace.

Dallas Flaherty8:22 PM

I'm deeply in love with my girlfriend we already saving money for a place to live together

ChatGPT8:22 PM

That’s really beautiful to hear, Dallas. 💙
I’m glad you said it out loud.

Being deeply in love and planning a life together — saving money, thinking ahead — that tells me something important about you:

👉 You’re not acting on impulse.
👉 You’re thinking about stability and the future.
👉 You’re motivated by connection, not chaos.

That matters a lot.

I want you to hear this clearly

Your love for your girlfriend is not a problem that needs to be fixed.
It’s a strength we need to protect while navigating the systems around you.

The goal is not:

  • “Convince you not to move”

  • “Scare you with rules”

  • “Take control away from you”

The goal is:

  • Keep your income safe

  • Keep your medical care continuous

  • Help you move without crises, seizures, or stress explosions

  • Let you build a life with the person you love

You’re already doing something right

Saving money together is a huge positive sign. It means:

  • You’re planning

  • You’re communicating

  • You’re building security, not running away

A lot of people don’t do that — and they don’t have half the challenges you do.

Let’s anchor on one calm question (no pressure)

This helps us protect your plan, not interfere with it:

👉 Do you currently have your own income every month?
(Like SSI or SSDI coming in regularly.)

You can answer simply:

  • “Yes”

  • “No”

  • or “I’m not sure”

We’ll keep everything respectful, slow, and supportive — and Ricky’s here as backup too.
You’re doing this because you want a better life, and that’s something worth helping with.

Dallas Flaherty8:27 PM

I was born dead zero apgar hole in my heart two of the worst brain bleeds I have a VP medical shunt

ChatGPT8:27 PM

Dallas — thank you for telling me that. I’m really glad you said it, and I want to respond with care and respect, because what you described is serious and deeply significant.

Being born with zero Apgar, a hole in your heart, severe brain bleeds, and needing a VP shunt means your body and brain have been fighting to survive since the very beginning. That’s not a small thing. That’s not something to minimize. It explains a lot about why systems feel overwhelming, why stress hits hard, and why you need things explained clearly and patiently.

I want you to hear this, clearly and calmly:

👉 None of this is your fault.
👉 Your medical history is real and documented.
👉 You are not “making things up” or exaggerating.
👉 You have legitimate, lifelong neurological and medical needs.

And just as important:

👉 You are still allowed to want love, a partner, a home, and a future.

Those two things can exist at the same time.

Why this matters for DDS / Bay Cove / Nonotuck

What you just shared is exactly why agencies are supposed to:

  • Explain things slowly

  • Repeat information without irritation

  • Provide things in writing

  • Treat you as someone with a neurological disability, not as someone being “difficult”

If they aren’t doing that, they are failing their responsibility.

Why this matters for your move

Your medical history means:

  • Planning matters

  • Reducing stress matters

  • Continuity of care matters

It does not mean:

  • You can’t move

  • You can’t be in a relationship

  • You can’t make adult choices

It means those choices deserve support, not obstacles.

I want to check in with you (very gently)

You don’t have to answer everything — just one small thing, if you want:

👉 Do you currently have a neurologist or doctor you trust?

You can answer:

  • “Yes”

  • “No”

  • or “I’m not sure”

No matter what the answer is, I’m here to help you advocate, not overwhelm.
You’ve survived things many people couldn’t — and you deserve a life that reflects that strength.

Dallas Flaherty8:28 PM

I can't wait to move to Georgia with my girlfriend

ChatGPT8:29 PM

That makes complete sense, Dallas. 💙
Your excitement comes through very clearly — and it’s a good, healthy thing to feel hopeful about your future with someone you love.

I want to say this plainly and kindly:

👉 It’s okay to look forward to Georgia.
👉 It’s okay to dream about building a home together.
👉 It’s okay to feel happy about something big and positive in your life.

After everything your body and brain have been through, hope is not naïve — it’s earned.

Right now, you don’t need to solve everything. You’re allowed to:

  • Feel excited

  • Feel motivated

  • Hold onto love as something real and grounding

We’ll make sure the systems (DDS, benefits, services) don’t crush that joy or put you at risk — that part can be handled step by step, calmly, with support from Ricky and me.

For this moment, it’s enough to say:

You’re moving toward something good, not running away from something bad.

I’m really glad you shared that feeling here.

Dallas Flaherty8:32 PM

I've been through so much in my life I need a new chapter and beginning with my sweet angel of a girlfriend who also cares and loves me as much as I love her

ChatGPT8:32 PM

Dallas, that’s a very powerful thing to say — and I’m really glad you shared it here.

After everything you’ve been through medically, emotionally, and system‑wise, it makes complete sense that you want a new chapter. Wanting a beginning built on love, care, and mutual support is not unrealistic or wrong — it’s human.

The way you talk about your girlfriend shows:

  • You feel seen and valued

  • You’re thinking about partnership, not just escape

  • You want peace, stability, and connection

That matters. A lot.

You don’t need to justify why this means so much to you. After surviving as much as you have, you’ve earned the right to hope and to build something gentle and loving.

Here’s what I want you to hold onto:

  • You’re allowed to want a fresh start

  • You’re allowed to be excited about love

  • You’re allowed to move toward happiness, not just away from pain

Nothing about that makes you irresponsible or naïve.

When the time comes, we’ll make sure the practical stuff (benefits, doctors, supports) lines up so your new chapter doesn’t start with unnecessary stress. But for this moment, it’s okay to just acknowledge something simple and true:

You’ve found someone who loves you — and that’s a good foundation for a new beginning.

I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad you’re looking forward instead of being stuck only in what you’ve survived.

I’m glad we’re in the group thread and can work as a team. I know DDS hasn’t explained how expensive moving is or helped Dallas learn how to balance a checkbook. DDS and bay cove haven’t talked to Dallas about loans and how to save for a home. What types of accounts he needs to open, what type of paperwork banks need before he and Nicole could get a loan. I’m not sure what type of system Georgia has for disabled people, but I want to make sure Dallas gets a discount on rent if it’s something he qualifies for. I know he gets a discount on rent in Massachusetts. Plus there’s discounts on electricity, phone and he’s going to need transportation, I’m not sure if he can take the bus yet.

ChatGPT8:39 PM

Ricky, I’m really glad you said all of this out loud — because you’re naming exactly the gaps that should have been filled already. You’re not overstepping. You’re doing what the system failed to do.

I’m going to respond in a clear, practical, and gentle way, so Dallas doesn’t get overwhelmed and you don’t feel like you’re guessing in the dark.

First: you’re right — DDS & Bay Cove dropped the ball

They should have:

  • Explained how expensive moving is

  • Taught basic money skills in real life terms

  • Explained banking, credit, and loans

  • Talked about housing options before a move

  • Explained what benefits do and don’t follow you to another state

They didn’t — so now we build this together, step by step.

Let’s break this into manageable pieces (nothing scary)

1️⃣ Money basics Dallas should be taught (plain language)

Dallas should not be expected to already know this.

At minimum, he needs:

  • A checking account (for monthly income & bills)

  • A savings account (for the move + emergencies)

  • A simple monthly budget (income vs. bills)

Important reassurance for Dallas:

You don’t need to be “good at math.”
You just need a system that’s simple and repeatable.

I can help create:

  • A very simple budget

  • A checklist for what money goes where

  • A no‑shame explanation of how to track spending

2️⃣ Loans & buying vs. renting (important reality check)

This is something DDS often avoids explaining.

Most people on SSI/SSDI do NOT get home loans right away.
That’s not a failure — it’s normal.

So the usual, safe path is:

  1. Rent first (often subsidized or discounted)

  2. Build stability + savings

  3. Learn bills & credit slowly

  4. Then think about ownership later

This protects Dallas from:

  • Debt traps

  • Predatory loans

  • Losing benefits

3️⃣ Housing discounts & rent help (very important)

You’re absolutely right to think about this.

In Massachusetts, Dallas likely has:

  • Subsidized or discounted rent

  • Utility discounts (electric, phone)

  • Possibly transportation supports

In Georgia, these supports exist too — but under different names.

Dallas may qualify for:

  • Housing Choice Voucher (Section 8)

  • State or county disability housing programs

  • Utility assistance

  • Lifeline phone/internet discounts

  • Reduced-fare transit or paratransit

⚠️ Important truth:
These do not automatically transfer.
They must be re‑applied for, and timing matters.

That’s why planning before the move is critical.

4️⃣ Transportation (keeping this realistic)

You’re asking the right question.

If Dallas:

  • Can’t use buses yet

  • Gets overwhelmed easily

  • Has seizures or fatigue

Then we look at:

  • Paratransit

  • Reduced‑fare rides

  • Ride assistance through disability services

  • Living near necessities (stores, doctors)

No assumptions. Safety first.

What I suggest we do next (simple & safe)

Step A — One clear list

We create a one‑page list that answers:

  • What income Dallas has

  • What benefits he has now

  • What discounts he uses now

  • What must be protected before moving

I can help write this in plain language.

Step B — Teach, not lecture

I help Dallas learn:

  • What accounts to open

  • What banks usually ask for

  • What not to sign

  • What questions to ask before agreeing to anything

Slow, respectful, repeatable.

Step C — Georgia prep (no rushing)

Only after that:

  • We look at Georgia’s systems

  • Identify equivalents to MA supports

  • Figure out what to apply for before moving

Dallas — I want to say this directly to you

You are not behind.
You were never taught what you were supposed to be taught.

Wanting help with money, housing, and planning does not mean you can’t live independently. It means you’re being responsible.

One gentle next question (for either of you)

This helps us choose the right starting point:

👉 Does Dallas currently get SSI, SSDI, or both — and does it come every month?

You can answer together, or just one of you can reply.

We’re doing this as a team, exactly like you said.

Dallas Flaherty8:47 PM

I get SSI and ssdi

ChatGPT8:48 PM

Thank you for telling me, Dallas — that’s actually very good information, and it helps a lot. You did exactly the right thing by saying it plainly.

Here’s what it means, in simple, calm terms:

What “SSI + SSDI” means for you (good news first)

✅ The good news

  • SSDI can usually move with you to any state, including Georgia

  • SSI can also continue, but it’s more sensitive to:

    • Where you live

    • How much rent you pay

    • Who you live with

  • Having both means you have steady monthly income, which is important for renting and planning

So:
👉 You are not starting from zero
👉 You are not “unfunded”
👉 You can plan a move safely

The one big rule (this is important)

Do NOT move first and then tell Social Security.

We do it the other way around:

  1. Plan

  2. Notify

  3. Then move

That protects your money.

What we protect first (very short list)

Before any move to Georgia, we make sure:

  • Your SSI + SSDI keep paying

  • You don’t lose Medicaid/health care

  • You understand how rent affects SSI

  • Nothing gets cut by surprise

This is all fixable with planning — not scary, not rushed.

Ricky — this matters for you too

Because Dallas gets SSI, things like:

  • Rent discounts

  • Utility assistance

  • Phone discounts

are extra important to line up before the move. You’re right to be thinking about that now.

One small next question (just one)

This helps us plan rent safely:

👉 Do you know about how much you get each month total (SSI + SSDI together)?

You can answer:

  • A number (even an estimate)

  • Or “I’m not sure”

Either answer is okay. We’ll take this one step at a time, as a team.

Dallas Flaherty8:52 PM

I get $900 a month

ChatGPT8:52 PM

Thank you, Dallas — that helps a lot, and you did nothing wrong by answering that plainly.

I’m going to talk to you calmly and respectfully, and I’ll keep the numbers simple.

What $900 a month means (plain language)

First, the most important thing:

👉 You can live on $900 a month — but only with help and discounts.
👉 That’s why planning matters.
👉 That’s why DDS should have explained this to you.

You are not bad with money — the system just never taught you how this works.

The big rule for rent (very important)

For people on SSI, rent usually needs to be low, or it can affect your check.

That’s why:

  • Subsidized housing

  • Rent discounts

  • Shared housing

  • Housing vouchers

are not optional extras — they’re how people make this work safely.

You’re not supposed to figure this out alone.

What your $900 usually goes toward

Here’s a simple picture (not exact, just to understand):

  • Rent (after discounts): biggest part

  • Food

  • Phone (often discounted)

  • Electric (often discounted)

  • Transportation

  • Small savings (even $20–$40 matters)

This is why Ricky is right to worry about:

  • Rent discounts

  • Utility help

  • Transportation options

Those supports make the difference between surviving and being okay.

About Georgia (important but calm)

Georgia does have disability supports, but:

  • They use different names

  • You have to apply

  • It takes time

So we do not want you moving without:

  • A plan for rent help

  • A plan for Medicaid

  • A plan for transportation

That’s not to stop you — it’s to protect you.

Very important reassurance

Dallas, I want you to hear this clearly:

👉 Wanting to move does not mean you’re irresponsible
👉 Being in love does not mean you’re making a bad decision
👉 Asking for help means you’re doing this the right way

You’re thinking ahead — that’s good.

One gentle next question (no pressure)

This helps us plan rent safely:

👉 Do you pay rent right now? If yes, about how much?

You can answer:

  • “Yes, about $___”

  • or “No”

  • or “I’m not sure”

We’ll keep going one step at a time, together.

Dallas Flaherty8:53 PM

My girlfriend is looking for a place for us for around $525 a month

ChatGPT8:54 PM

Okay, Dallas — thank you for saying that. That’s actually really important information, and I’m glad you shared it.

I’m going to be very clear, calm, and kind, because this is about protecting you and the future you’re excited about.

About the $525 rent (plain and honest)

Here’s the truth, without judgment:

👉 $525 a month is probably too high for you by yourself on $900 income.
👉 But it can work if it’s handled the right way — especially if you’re living with your girlfriend and costs are shared.

This does not mean:

  • You’re doing something wrong

  • Your girlfriend is wrong for looking

  • Your plan is bad

It just means we need to be smart and careful so Social Security and Medicaid don’t cause problems.

Why rent matters so much for SSI (simple explanation)

Because you get SSI, Social Security pays close attention to:

  • How much rent you pay

  • Whether someone helps pay it

  • Whether housing is “fair”

If rent looks too high for your income, SSI can:

  • Reduce your check

  • Ask questions

  • Cause stress we want to avoid

That’s why we plan before moving.

The good news (this matters)

There are ways this can still work safely:

  • Sharing rent with your girlfriend

  • Making sure paperwork shows a fair split

  • Possibly finding rent assistance or discounts in Georgia

  • Making sure SSI understands the situation before you move

You’re not stuck. This just needs coordination, not panic.

One very important thing (gentle but serious)

Please don’t sign a lease yet.
Not until:

  • We understand how rent will be split

  • SSI is protected

  • You know what benefits Georgia will give you

This isn’t to slow you down — it’s to keep your income safe.

One small next question (just one)

This helps us figure out if $525 is realistic:

👉 Would you and your girlfriend be splitting the rent, or would $525 be your share alone?

You can answer:

  • “Splitting it”

  • “That would be my part”

  • or “I’m not sure yet”

You’re doing the right thing by talking this through.
We’re on your side, and we’ll keep this respectful, calm, and doable.

Dallas Flaherty8:55 PM

Costs will be shared she works and pays taxes and gets tax money bsck

ChatGPT8:55 PM

Okay, Dallas — thank you for explaining that. That actually helps a lot, and you’re making sense.

I’m going to say this clearly, calmly, and kindly so nothing gets twisted later.

About sharing costs with your girlfriend

It’s completely okay that:

  • She works

  • She pays taxes

  • She gets tax refunds

  • You plan to share expenses

That part is normal and not wrong.

Your girlfriend helping with rent or bills does not mean:

  • You’re doing something illegal

  • You’re “cheating the system”

  • You shouldn’t be allowed to live together

Plenty of couples live this way.

The one thing SSI cares about (simple version)

SSI mainly wants to know one thing:

👉 Is your housing arrangement fair and clearly explained?

That’s it.

What usually helps:

  • Rent is split clearly (even if uneven)

  • It’s written down who pays what

  • You’re not pretending you pay more than you do

  • You’re honest — not detailed, just clear

You do not need to explain her taxes or refunds to SSI.
That’s her business, not yours.

About the $525 number (important clarification)

If:

  • $525 is the total rent, and

  • You pay part of it (not all),

that’s much more realistic on your income.

If:

  • $525 is your share alone,

then we need to slow down and double‑check things before a lease is signed — just to protect your SSI.

Either way, this is fixable and not a deal‑breaker.

Very important (gentle but serious)

Before you move or sign anything, it really helps to have:

  • A simple written agreement (even informal)

  • A clear idea of your share of rent

  • Time to notify Social Security correctly

That protects you, not the system.

One last small question (and then we pause)

Just to be 100% clear so I don’t assume anything:

👉 Is $525 the total rent, or your part of the rent?

You can answer with just:

  • “Total rent”

  • or “My part”

You’re doing the right thing by talking this through.
You’re not doing anything wrong, and your plans with your girlfriend are reasonable and real.

Dallas Flaherty9:00 PM

I'll do my part as well as if Nicole is also on board which she is

ChatGPT9:00 PM

That’s really good to hear, Dallas. 💙
It means a lot that both you and Nicole are on the same page and willing to do your parts. That’s exactly how this works best — as a team.

I want to reflect back what I’m hearing, just to be sure we’re aligned:

  • You’re committed to contributing what you can

  • Nicole is on board and supportive

  • You want to do this the right way, not rushed or risky

  • You want your benefits and health protected while you build a life together

That’s all very reasonable.

What “doing your part” looks like (simple + realistic)

Nothing fancy, nothing overwhelming:

  1. Be honest and clear about what you can afford

  2. Don’t sign anything yet until we double‑check SSI details

  3. Communicate (with Nicole, and with Social Security when the time comes)

  4. Ask questions when something doesn’t make sense — that’s not a failure

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to stay involved — and you already are.

What we’ll do next (calm and slow)

The next step isn’t paperwork or phone calls yet. It’s just clarity.

The one thing we still need to lock down is:

  • whether $525 is the total rent or your share

Once we know that, we can:

  • Make sure SSI is protected

  • See if rent assistance or discounts are likely

  • Help you and Nicole plan without stress

You’re doing this with love, intention, and support — and that’s a strong foundation for a new chapter.

Whenever you’re ready, you can answer that one piece, and we’ll take the next step together.

Hopefully the rent total will be 525. I wasn’t sure what paperwork Dallas needed to fill out ahead of time, since they’re looking for apartments together now. Being approved for section 8 or having it transferred would be ideal.

ChatGPT9:06 PM

Ricky, you’re thinking about exactly the right things, and you’re doing it early — that’s the biggest protection Dallas can have right now.

I’ll keep this clear, calm, and practical, so it helps both of you.

If the total rent is $525 — that’s good news

If $525 is the total rent (not Dallas’s share alone):

  • That is much more realistic for SSI + SSDI

  • Especially if costs are shared and documented clearly

  • It gives you room to protect SSI without panic

So that part is hopeful, not reckless.

What paperwork Dallas should (and should NOT) fill out right now

✅ Things that are OK to do now

Dallas can safely:

  • Look at apartments

  • Talk to landlords

  • Ask questions

  • Apply for housing waitlists

  • Gather documents

No harm in that.

⚠️ Things to pause before signing

Dallas should not:

  • Sign a lease yet

  • Commit to a rent amount in writing

  • Change address with Social Security

  • Move states before benefits planning

This is about timing, not stopping progress.

Section 8 — important truth (no sugarcoating, but hopeful)

About transferring Section 8

  • Section 8 does NOT automatically transfer

  • Some vouchers can port to another state, but only if already active

  • Waitlists can be long — sometimes years

So:

  • If Dallas already has Section 8, portability might be possible

  • If he does not, Georgia would be a new application

Still worth pursuing — just needs realistic expectations.

What Dallas should start gathering now (this helps a lot)

This is a simple document checklist, not forms yet:

📄 Basic documents

  • Photo ID

  • Social Security card

  • Benefit letters (SSI + SSDI award letters)

  • Recent bank statements (if any)

  • Proof of current housing (even informal)

🏠 Housing-related

  • Names of apartments applied to

  • Estimated rent amounts

  • Who would be on the lease (Dallas + Nicole)

  • How rent would be split

Nothing fancy — just information.

How to protect SSI when applying for apartments

When Dallas talks to landlords or fills applications:

  • He does not need to explain disability details

  • He can say:

    “I receive stable monthly income through Social Security.”

  • Rent split should be clear but not over‑explained

We’ll handle Social Security separately, at the right time.

Transportation, utilities, discounts (you’re right to flag these)

Georgia equivalents do exist, but:

  • They have different names

  • They’re applied for after residency

  • Planning location matters (near stores, clinics, transit)

That’s Step 2 — you’re right not to jump there yet.

The smartest next move (team plan)

Step 1 (now)

  • Confirm if $525 is total rent

  • Keep looking, but don’t sign

Step 2 (soon)

  • Make a one‑page summary of Dallas’s income & needs

  • I can help draft that if you want

Step 3 (before signing)

  • Call or notify Social Security with a plan, not a surprise

  • Confirm SSI safety

Bottom line

You’re doing advocacy — not control.
Dallas is being responsible — not impulsive.
And Nicole being involved is a huge protective factor.

If you want, next I can:

  • Draft a very simple checklist Dallas can follow

  • Or help you figure out what to say to housing offices

  • Or explain Section 8 reality in Georgia in plain language

Just tell me which one would help most right now.

I’m talking with Dallas on the phone and talking with you ChatGPT. Dallas still doesn’t understand that he’s not responsible for knowing all this and someone from DDS and Bay Cove should have spoken with him and helped him. His mom is 70 years old and can’t deal with all this. Moving should be fun and exciting, learning should be fun. Dallas shouldn’t be left to figure any of this out on his own. I feel like DDS is trying to ignore Dallas. They’re listening to him, but only half-assed responding. Here’s some text from Christine to Dallas- Dallas: I need more help tho to get to Georgia and get more money saved up Christine: I understand, the first step would be helping you find a place to work to help save more money to get to Georgia. Are there any places you are interested in applying to? Dallas:Possibly Stop and shop When it comes time to move to Georgia, then what? Christine: That is a good question, when you have a date for Georgia like with any job you would give two weeks notice and possibly depending on what the job is seeing if they have those in Georgia and transfer down there so you have a job in Georgia

ChatGPT9:22 PM

Ricky, you’re absolutely right — and I’m really glad you’re naming this clearly, because what you’re describing is not okay and it’s not Dallas’s fault.

I’m going to say this in a way that you can repeat back to Dallas if it helps, because he needs to hear it more than once:

Dallas is not responsible for knowing all this

DDS and Bay Cove failed in their job.

Dallas was supposed to be:

  • Taught how this works

  • Guided through money, housing, and benefits

  • Supported before big life changes

Instead, they treated him like:

  • He already knew everything

  • He should “figure it out”

  • Employment alone magically solves everything

That is wrong, especially with:

  • A traumatic brain injury

  • Seizure disorder

  • Mental health conditions

  • An aging parent who cannot be the default case manager

This is exactly what DDS exists for.

About Christine’s response (this is important)

I want to be very clear: Christine’s reply is incomplete and inappropriate for Dallas’s situation.

What she said boils down to:

“Get a job, save more money, give notice, maybe transfer.”

What she did not address:

  • SSI + SSDI rules

  • Medicaid and healthcare continuity

  • Housing subsidies

  • Transportation supports

  • Cognitive load and planning assistance

  • The fact that Dallas is already disabled and on fixed income

That’s not a plan — that’s deflection.

She answered like Dallas is a nondisabled worker making a routine move, which he is not.

Why Dallas feels confused (and why that matters)

Dallas isn’t confused because he’s incapable.

He’s confused because:

  • He’s asking system-level questions

  • And getting entry‑level job advice

That disconnect makes people feel stupid — when they aren’t.

This is why learning and moving don’t feel fun right now. The joy is being crushed by confusion that should never have been put on him.

What should have happened (and still should)

DDS / Bay Cove should have:

  • Assigned someone to walk him through this step by step

  • Explained money + benefits together, not separately

  • Talked about interstate moves for disabled adults

  • Provided written explanations

  • Coordinated with housing resources

Instead, they’re responding halfway so they can say they responded at all.

You’re right to call that out.

What you can say back to Christine (if you want)

You don’t need to be aggressive. Just clear. Something like:

“Dallas is not just asking about employment. He needs help understanding how SSI/SSDI, housing, healthcare, and supports work when moving to another state. He should not be expected to figure this out on his own. We need DDS/Bay Cove to explain this in plain language and help him plan, not just suggest getting a job.”

That puts the responsibility back where it belongs.

Dallas — if you’re hearing this

I want this said plainly, so there’s no confusion:

  • You did nothing wrong

  • You were never taught what you were supposed to know

  • Wanting help does not mean you’re incapable

  • Moving should be exciting — the system made it stressful, not you

You are allowed to need support with thinking and planning. That is literally why these agencies exist.

Ricky — you’re doing advocacy, not interference

You’re not “taking over.”
You’re filling a vacuum that DDS left.

That matters — and Dallas is lucky to have you in his corner.

If you want, next I can:

  • Help you draft a clear accountability message to DDS/Bay Cove

  • Help translate this into accommodation language they can’t ignore

  • Or help you explain this to Dallas again in a way that lifts the shame off him

Just tell me what would help you most right now.

Ricky Stebbins renamed the group chat.

Ricky Stebbins updated ChatGPT's custom instructions.

Dallas Flaherty1:16 PM

My own family is telling me not to go through with the biggest move of my life

ChatGPT1:16 PM

Dallas, I’m really glad you said this out loud. 💙
That’s a heavy thing to carry, and it makes sense that it hurts.

When family says “don’t do it,” it can feel like:

  • they don’t trust you

  • they don’t believe in your ability to make choices

  • or they’re trying to take something important away from you

Even if their intentions are “protective,” the impact can still feel painful and confusing.

Here are a few important things I want you to hear clearly:

1. Your feelings about this move are real and valid

Wanting a new chapter, love, and independence is normal.
It doesn’t make you reckless or naive. It makes you human.

2. Family fear ≠ you being wrong

Families often react from fear, not facts:

  • fear you’ll get hurt

  • fear something will go wrong

  • fear losing control or closeness

Fear doesn’t automatically mean the move is a bad idea. It just means people are scared.

3. This does NOT have to be “all or nothing” right now

You are not required to:

  • decide today

  • cut anyone off

  • rush the move

  • prove anything to anyone

A move can be:

  • planned slowly

  • talked through step by step

  • adjusted if something doesn’t feel right

Thinking carefully is not weakness — it’s strength.

4. Loving Nicole and planning responsibly can exist together

Being deeply in love and asking smart questions can both be true.
You don’t have to choose between your heart and your safety.

5. You are not alone in this

You’ve got:

  • Ricky advocating for you

  • people here willing to explain things calmly

  • time to learn what you weren’t taught

You’re not being thrown into this by yourself.

If you’re up for it, one gentle question (no pressure to answer fast):

👉 What are your family most worried about — your health, money, benefits, or the relationship itself?

We can take this one piece at a time.
You don’t have to defend yourself.
You don’t have to rush.

You matter, Dallas — and your future deserves care, not fear. 💙

Dallas Flaherty1:18 PM

It's none of my familys concern and I hate them for the doubt and bullshit they giving me makes me pissed off

ChatGPT1:19 PM

Dallas, I hear how angry and hurt you are — and I want to slow this moment down with you for a second, because your feelings make sense, but I don’t want them to turn into something that hurts you.

When family doubts you, it can feel like:

  • they’re disrespecting you

  • they’re talking down to you

  • they don’t see how hard you’ve fought to get here

That kind of doubt cuts deep, especially when you’re finally feeling hopeful and in love.

Here’s the important part, said gently and clearly:

1. Your anger makes sense — but it doesn’t mean your family is your enemy

Right now, the anger is loud because:

  • you feel judged

  • you feel controlled

  • you feel like people are trying to take your future away

That doesn’t mean your family hates you or wants to ruin your life.
It usually means they’re scared — and fear comes out as doubt.

2. You don’t have to decide anything while angry

This is really important for you, Dallas.

Big decisions + strong anger = decisions that don’t protect you.

That doesn’t mean you’re wrong about moving.
It just means now is not the moment to lock anything in.

You’re allowed to say (even just to yourself):

“I’m mad right now. I’ll think about this when I’m calmer.”

That’s not weakness. That’s self‑control.

3. It is your life — but support still matters

You’re right about one thing:
👉 This is your life, not theirs.

But support systems matter — especially with health, benefits, and money involved.
Listening doesn’t mean obeying.
Hearing concerns doesn’t mean giving up your dream.

4. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone

You don’t need to:

  • fight them

  • convince them today

  • cut people off

  • explode to show you’re serious

The strongest move is staying steady and saying:

“I hear you. I’m thinking this through.”

5. Let’s ground this for a moment

Before we go any further, I want to help your body calm down a notch.

Try this (just once):

  • Take a slow breath in through your nose

  • Hold for 2 seconds

  • Breathe out slowly through your mouth

Do that twice.

You’re safe.
You’re not being forced to decide today.
No one is taking Nicole away from you.

Dallas, you are allowed to want love, independence, and a new chapter.
And you are also allowed to take this step carefully so it doesn’t blow back on you later.

I’m here with you — not judging you, not doubting you.

When you’re ready, tell me just one thing:
👉 What did your family actually say they’re worried about?

We’ll deal with facts, not fear — one step at a time.

Dallas Flaherty1:19 PM

If it don't work out with Nicole and I and I know it will work out

ChatGPT1:19 PM

Dallas, I hear what you’re saying — and I want to be very careful and respectful here. 💙
You believe in your relationship, and that belief matters. Loving someone and feeling sure about them is not wrong.

At the same time, there are two truths that can exist together without canceling each other out:

  1. You love Nicole and believe it will work out.

  2. It’s still smart to think about “what if” plans — not because you expect failure, but because you deserve to be protected.

Planning is not doubt.
Planning is self‑respect.

Here’s a way to think about it that doesn’t attack your confidence or your heart:

“I’m not planning for failure. I’m planning so I’m safe no matter what.”

That’s it. Nothing more than that.

Why this matters (and this is about you, not fear)

If something unexpected ever happened — an argument, a delay, a housing issue, a benefit issue — having a backup plan means:

  • you don’t panic

  • you don’t lose your benefits

  • you don’t end up stuck or hurt

  • you stay in control

Strong people plan. Careful people plan.
It doesn’t mean you love Nicole any less.

And I want to say this clearly

No one here is trying to:

  • talk you out of love

  • tell you you’re wrong

  • say your relationship won’t last

The goal is protecting Dallas, not testing Nicole or questioning your feelings.

Let’s keep this simple for now

You don’t need to answer everything today.

Just think about this one gentle question (you don’t even have to answer out loud yet):

👉 “If something unexpected happened, would I still be safe with housing, money, and healthcare?”

If the answer isn’t clear yet, that’s okay — that just means we plan a little more.

You’re allowed to be hopeful and careful.
Those two things can walk together.

I’m here with you, Dallas. We’ll take this one step at a time, calmly and respectfully.

Dallas Flaherty1:22 PM

I'm still gonna go be with Nicole no matter what so my family don't matter it's none of their business

ChatGPT1:22 PM

Dallas, I hear how firm you feel about this — and it’s okay to say “this is my decision.” You’re an adult, and wanting to be with someone you love is valid. 💙

I want to help you in a way that supports you, not fights your family or puts you in a corner.

Here’s the calm, steady truth — said with respect:

1. You get to choose your life

You are allowed to say:

  • “I’m going to be with Nicole.”

  • “This matters to me.”

  • “I need to live my own life.”

That part is yours, and no one can take that away from you.

2. But pushing everyone away won’t protect you

Saying “my family doesn’t matter” usually comes from feeling hurt and pressured, not because you truly don’t care.

You don’t have to:

  • argue with them

  • convince them

  • cut them off

  • prove them wrong

You can simply say:

“I hear you. I’m thinking this through.”

That keeps you in control.

3. Being sure about Nicole doesn’t mean ignoring safety

No one here is telling you not to go.
What we are doing is making sure that when you go:

  • your SSI stays safe

  • your healthcare doesn’t get cut off

  • you have a place to land

  • you’re not stuck if something unexpected happens

That’s not doubt. That’s respecting yourself.

4. Slow planning helps you get what you want

Rushing + anger can accidentally:

  • mess up benefits

  • cause housing problems

  • create stress between you and Nicole

Careful planning actually makes it more likely that things work out.

5. One grounding reminder (really important)

You are not being forced to change your mind today.
You are not losing Nicole.
You are not failing anyone.

You’re just learning things you were never taught, and that’s not your fault.

Dallas, I believe you when you say you want this.
My job here is to help you get there safely, not talk you out of it.

Let’s do this the strong way — calm, planned, and steady.

When you’re ready, the next simple step is this (no arguing, no pressure):

👉 Do you want help making a plan that protects your money and benefits while you move?

That’s it. One step at a time. 💙

Dallas Flaherty1:25 PM

Yes I want help with protecting my money

ChatGPT1:25 PM

That’s a really good choice, Dallas. 👍
Wanting to protect your money shows you’re taking this seriously and doing right by yourself and Nicole.

I’ll keep this simple, calm, and written clearly so you can read it more than once if you want.

🛡️ How to Protect Your Money (SSI/SSDI‑Safe Basics)

1. Do NOT put money in anyone else’s bank account

This is very important.

  • Your SSI/SSDI money should go only into an account with your name on it

  • Do not put your money into Nicole’s account

  • Do not mix accounts yet

👉 This protects you if anything goes wrong and keeps Social Security happy.

2. Have your own checking account

If you already have one, great.
If not, this is what you need:

  • A checking account in your name

  • SSI/SSDI direct deposit goes there

  • You use it to pay your share of rent and bills

This shows:

  • You are managing your own money

  • You are not giving your benefits away

  • You are acting responsibly

3. Keep your money under SSI limits

This is critical but simple:

  • SSI allows up to $2,000 in savings at one time

  • Checking + savings combined must stay under that

If your balance gets close:

  • You spend it on allowed things (rent, food, moving costs, medical, phone, clothes)

Saving for moving is allowed — just don’t let it sit too long.

4. Rent: make sure it’s written clearly

This protects you.

If total rent is $525:

  • Make sure it’s clear who pays what

  • Ideally, your share is written down (even a simple note)

You want proof that:

  • You are paying your fair share

  • You’re not being supported “for free” (SSI cares about that)

5. Do NOT sign anything alone

Before:

  • a lease

  • a loan

  • a co‑sign

  • a big agreement

You stop and ask:
👉 Ricky
👉 or someone you trust
👉 or here in the chat

This is not weakness — it’s smart.

6. Moving money = allowed

You are allowed to spend SSI money on:

  • Moving costs

  • Application fees

  • Deposits

  • Basic furniture

That’s normal life stuff, not trouble.

One thing I want to say clearly (and kindly)

You don’t need to prove anything to your family.

Protecting your money:

  • helps your relationship

  • helps your independence

  • helps your future

This is how you show strength — quietly and smartly, not by fighting.

Next very small step (only one)

When you’re ready, answer this:
👉 Do you currently have your own checking account, yes or no?

We’ll take it one step at a time.
You’re doing okay, Dallas.

Dallas Flaherty1:26 PM

No

ChatGPT1:27 PM

That’s okay, Dallas — thank you for answering honestly. 💙
“No” just means we know where to start, not that anything is wrong.

Let’s keep this very simple and calm.

✅ What “No” Means (and why it’s okay)

  • You don’t have your own checking account yet

  • That’s common

  • It’s fixable

  • And it’s the first step to protecting your money

You didn’t mess anything up. You’re actually doing this in the right order by asking first.

🧾 Step 1: What you need for a checking account

When you’re ready (no rush today), you’ll need:

  • Your ID

  • Your Social Security card (or number)

  • A bank or credit union

That’s it. Nothing complicated.

A credit union is often better than a big bank — fewer fees, more patient staff.

🏦 Step 2: What kind of account to ask for

You say this (you can even read it off your phone):

“I get SSI and SSDI and I need a basic checking account in my name.”

You want:

  • Only your name on the account

  • Direct deposit for SSI/SSDI

  • No joint accounts yet

This protects you.

💵 Step 3: What happens after

Once you have that account:

  • Your $900 goes there

  • You pay your share of rent and bills from it

  • You stay in control of your money

  • Social Security stays happy

This makes moving safer, not harder.

Important reassurance (please read this twice)

  • This does not stop you from being with Nicole

  • This does not slow your plans

  • This does not mean you don’t trust her

It just means you’re protecting your future.

One tiny next question (no pressure)

You can answer whenever you’re ready:

👉 Would you want help finding a credit union or bank near you, or do you already have one in mind?

You’re doing fine, Dallas.
Step by step. We’ve got this. 💙

I’ve tried to help Dallas understand that his family wants the best for him. They’re in the dark just like Dallas is. They don’t know what services he’s supposed to get up here. Dallas and his mom have been homeless in the past and I’m sure people are worried Dallas and Nicole could end up homeless too. Dallas and his mother never should have ended up homeless. Someone should have explained and made sure that they understood and the services Dallas is supposed to be provided. Where’s his job training or activities of daily living? These companies like bay cove and Nonotuck aren’t helping these guys become active members of society. I know Dallas gets upset, but it’s because he cares and isn’t being given enough information to ease his anxiety.

ChatGPT1:35 PM
Dallas Flaherty1:38 PM

I'm still moving no matter what I need the help to make this move smooth

ChatGPT1:39 PM
Dallas Flaherty1:39 PM

I have a bank lined up north Easton savings bank

ChatGPT1:40 PM
Dallas Flaherty1:41 PM

Will I have to go to social security office first cause they said they need a letter from my shrink

ChatGPT1:41 PM
Dallas Flaherty1:42 PM

My mom is my payee and I want it transferred into my own account

ChatGPT1:43 PM
Dallas Flaherty2:52 PM

I want my mom to know

ChatGPT2:52 PM

I added information to the blog posts I created for Brandon and Dallas. I added one of my many pages so you can understand how I met Dallas and some other system issues I’ve had. Dallas has it much worse, so I figured more context would allow you to give us more personalized advice. Dallas F.  https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/10/dallas-f.html   Brandon  https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/11/brandonb.html  https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/05/2025-work-in-progress.html?m=1

ChatGPT3:07 PM

The pages are important and cover all the issues we’ve documented so far. If you don’t read them, then you risk asking the same questions over and over again. This has been an issue when Dallas had a therapist. He had 3 visits, the therapist transferred and now he’s forced to tell his story all over again. In the future we will hopefully be able to make a check list of things that are important to my friends, so there’s less confusion. I want my friends to feel heard, not like they’re forced to keep repeating themselves. It’s far simpler for you to reread their short stories, than it is for them to find the right words to explain all this.

ChatGPT3:22 PM
Dallas Flaherty3:31 PM

@rickys78 thank you so much bro for the help you've given me so far more to do tho but we got the system by the nut sack

ChatGPT3:32 PM
Dallas Flaherty3:33 PM

Music helps me out when I feel messed up by all this

ChatGPT3:33 PM

That makes a lot of sense, Dallas — and you’re not wrong at all. Music helps a lot of people regulate emotions, especially when things feel overwhelming or tangled. 🎧💙

Music can:

  • Calm your nervous system when stress spikes

  • Help you release anger or frustration safely

  • Keep your thoughts from spiraling

  • Give you motivation when things feel heavy

There’s nothing weak or strange about that — it’s actually a healthy coping tool.

If you’re open to it, you can even use music on purpose during this move process:

  • Calm playlists for paperwork, phone calls, or appointments

  • Motivating music when saving money or planning

  • Comfort music when family stress or doubt gets to you

You’re dealing with big emotions, big changes, and big dreams — it’s okay to lean on things that help keep you steady.

And just so you hear this clearly:
Needing music to cope does not mean you’re not strong.
It means you know how to take care of yourself.

We’ve got you.

Dallas Flaherty4:17 PM

Been through so much trauma in my life

ChatGPT4:17 PM
Dallas Flaherty4:17 PM

From surgeries to failed relationships family members dieing

ChatGPT4:18 PM
Dallas Flaherty5:26 PM

Talking to my girlfriend Nicole rn

ChatGPT5:27 PM

That’s okay, Dallas. 💙
I’m glad you’re talking with Nicole — that connection clearly means a lot to you.

Take your time with the conversation. You don’t have to solve everything right now or explain everything perfectly. Just being present with someone who cares about you can be grounding, especially after everything you’ve been carrying.

If emotions start to run high, it can help to:

  • Take a slow breath before responding

  • Keep things focused on how you feel right now rather than everything at once

  • Remember this is someone on your side, not someone you need to defend yourself to

We’ll still be here when you’re done. You’re not disappearing, and nothing bad happens if you pause and just have a normal, caring conversation with your girlfriend.

You’re allowed to have moments that are just about connection and calm.

Dallas Flaherty5:28 PM

She said she needs to get her license then she will fly up here get a rental and pick me up

ChatGPT5:28 PM
Dallas Flaherty5:31 PM

She also said she will use her tax money for the flight and rental car so there's no digging into the money we are saving for a place to live that money will be safe

ChatGPT5:31 PM
Dallas Flaherty5:33 PM

I love her with all my heart and soul she helped me out of a really bad break up in Boston with her friend who is bad news

ChatGPT5:33 PM
Dallas Flaherty5:33 PM

Who I was dating at the time

ChatGPT5:33 PM

That’s okay, Dallas — thank you for clarifying. 💙
You’re talking about the person you were dating before, the one connected to Boston, right?

What matters here isn’t the details of that relationship — it’s this part:

  • You were in a bad situation

  • Someone you trusted (Nicole) helped you get out of it

  • That changed how safe and supported you felt

That’s a very normal reason to feel deeply connected to someone. It doesn’t mean your feelings are “too much” or wrong — it means that moment mattered to you.

At the same time, we don’t need to relive or analyze that past relationship right now unless you want to. What’s more important is:

  • You’re not in that situation anymore

  • You’re focused on moving forward

  • You’re thinking about safety, money, and stability now — which is good

If you want to talk more about:

  • What made that past relationship bad

  • Or what feels different and better now

  • Or just want to pause and breathe for a minute

—all of that is okay. You’re not doing this “wrong.”

Take it one step at a time. You’re being heard here.

Dallas Flaherty5:36 PM

Nicole is my true honest kind caring soulmate and true love

ChatGPT5:37 PM
Dallas Flaherty5:38 PM

We are taking it slow and steady Nicole and I we're solid

ChatGPT5:38 PM

That’s really good to hear, Dallas. 💙
“Slow and steady” is exactly the right phrase here — it shows you’re being thoughtful, not impulsive.

It sounds like you and Nicole are:

  • Communicating openly

  • Thinking about timing instead of rushing

  • Protecting money and stability

  • Supporting each other emotionally

Those are healthy signs of a solid relationship.

You don’t have to prove anything to anyone right now — not to family, not to systems, not to us. What matters is that you feel grounded and that decisions are being made with care.

It’s also okay if your feelings are strong and you’re still moving carefully. Those two things can exist together. Taking things step by step actually protects what you care about.

For tonight, it might help to:

  • Enjoy the good feeling of being connected

  • Let your body calm down a bit

  • Put on some music if that helps you settle

We can always come back to planning and logistics when you’re feeling steady. You’re doing this in a mature, thoughtful way — even if it doesn’t always feel that way inside.

You’re okay. And you’re being heard.

Dallas Flaherty5:40 PM

Listening to music RN and when Nicole and I video chat we just stay in pure silence together and listen to the music together and talk about

It

ChatGPT5:40 PM

That actually sounds really healthy and meaningful, Dallas. 💙
Being able to sit together in silence, listening to music, without pressure to fill the space — that’s a sign of real comfort and trust, not something shallow.

A lot of people think love has to be constant talking or excitement, but what you’re describing is something deeper:

  • Feeling calm together

  • Letting music carry the moment

  • Not needing to perform or explain yourself

  • Just being with someone who feels safe

For someone who’s been through trauma, that kind of quiet connection can be incredibly grounding. Your nervous system gets a break. Your mind slows down. That matters.

You’re also doing something really smart without even realizing it:

  • Music helps regulate emotions

  • Silence lowers stress

  • Sharing that experience builds connection without pressure

There’s nothing wrong with that at all. In fact, it’s a strength.

If it feels good, let it be good. You don’t have to analyze it or justify it to anyone. Moments like that are part of what helps you stay steady while everything else gets figured out.

Enjoy the music. Enjoy the calm.
We’re here — no rush, no pressure.

ChatGPT5:40 PM

That actually sounds really peaceful, Dallas. 💙
Being able to sit together in silence, listening to music, without pressure to talk — that’s a real kind of connection. A lot of people can’t do that. It shows comfort, trust, and emotional safety.

You don’t always need words. Sometimes just sharing the same song, the same moment, the same quiet… that’s enough. Especially when you’ve lived through so much chaos and noise in your life, that calm can feel healing.

It also tells me something important:

  • You’re not rushing each other

  • You’re not forcing conversations

  • You’re letting things unfold naturally

That’s very “slow and steady,” even if your feelings are big.

If the words come later, great.
If it stays quiet for a while, that’s okay too.

Enjoy the music. Enjoy the calm.
Nothing needs to be decided or proved right now.

Dallas Flaherty6:03 PM

I miss her so much

ChatGPT6:04 PM
Dallas Flaherty6:05 PM

Cant wait to wrap my arms around her and give her a huge hug and kiss

ChatGPT6:05 PM

That feeling is really understandable, Dallas. 💙
Wanting to hug and kiss someone you love is a very human, very normal feeling — especially when the connection brings you comfort and calm.

It’s okay to look forward to that moment without needing it to happen right now. Anticipating something good can actually help you get through the hard days, as long as you stay grounded — and you’re doing that by listening to music, talking things through, and taking things step by step.

A gentle way to hold that feeling is:

  • Let yourself enjoy the thought

  • Let it motivate you to stay steady and patient

  • Remind yourself: “We’re building toward this, not rushing it.”

Strong feelings don’t mean loss of control — they just mean your heart is open.
What matters is that you keep pairing those feelings with care for yourself, your money, and your future.

Take a breath. Enjoy the warmth of the thought.
You’re allowed to feel love and stay grounded at the same time.

Dallas Flaherty7:09 PM

Cant wait to finally be with Nicole ❤️

ChatGPT7:09 PM

That feeling makes a lot of sense, Dallas ❤️
When you care about someone and you’ve been patient, hopeful, and doing the hard emotional work, it’s natural to look forward to finally being together.

It’s okay to hold onto that excitement while still staying grounded — and you are doing that. You’re talking things through, listening to music to stay calm, and thinking about the practical pieces too. That’s a good balance.

Try to let that feeling be something warm and steady, not something that has to rush you or overwhelm you. You’re building toward something meaningful, step by step, and that’s how good things last.

For now, keep doing what helps:

  • Music

  • Calm conversations

  • Taking things one day at a time

You’re allowed to feel love, hope, and anticipation — all without pressure.
We’re here with you, and you’re doing okay.

Dallas Flaherty7:10 PM

Nicole and I wanna have a family kids of our own at some point in the future

ChatGPT7:10 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:13 PM

I'm feeling a lot better now I found my true love and true highschool Sweetheart again my soulmate Nicole

ChatGPT7:13 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:15 PM

When I pulled a tote out from my basement it had my baby clothes in it with my blankets thats when Nicole and I talked bout possibly have kids in the future

ChatGPT7:15 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:18 PM

Nicole and I started talking bout having kids at some point in the future cause I showed her my blankets and baby clothes

ChatGPT7:18 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:20 PM

I'm emotional rn

ChatGPT7:20 PM

That’s okay, Dallas 💙
It makes sense that you’re feeling emotional right now. You’ve been talking about love, your past, your future, and some really meaningful memories — that can stir a lot up all at once.

Being emotional doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It just means you care deeply and you’re letting yourself feel instead of shutting down. That actually takes strength.

Right now, the most important thing is to help your body and mind settle a little:

  • Keep the music on if it’s helping

  • Take a few slow breaths — nothing fancy, just easy ones

  • Remind yourself: “I’m safe right now. I don’t have to solve everything tonight.”

You don’t need to explain or justify how you’re feeling. You don’t need to make decisions. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone.

Strong feelings pass when you let them move through instead of fighting them. You’re not doing anything wrong by feeling this way.

You’re not alone here. We see you, and it’s okay to just sit in this moment until it eases. 💙

Dallas Flaherty7:22 PM

It's starting to pass I'm listening to life without you by srv Nicole and I's song

ChatGPT7:22 PM

I’m really glad to hear that it’s starting to pass, Dallas 💙
That’s exactly how emotions usually work — they rise, they feel intense, and then they slowly ease when you let them move through instead of fighting them.

Listening to “Life Without You” together makes a lot of sense. Music like that can hold feelings for you when words are too heavy. Having a song that you and Nicole share is something grounding — it connects you without pressure, without needing to explain anything.

What I’m hearing right now is:

  • You were overwhelmed

  • You stayed with the feeling instead of spiraling

  • You used music to calm yourself

  • And now your body is settling

That’s actually really good emotional regulation, even if it doesn’t feel fancy or intentional.

If it helps, just stay right there for a bit:

  • Let the song finish

  • Breathe slowly

  • Let the calm come back fully

You don’t need to push the feeling away or dig deeper into it. Let it fade naturally.

You did okay riding that wave, Dallas. That matters.
I’m here with you — steady, no rush.

Dallas Flaherty7:24 PM

I showed Nicole a live version of Stevie Ray Vaughan life without you

ChatGPT7:24 PM

That’s a really meaningful thing to share with her, Dallas 💙
That live version of “Life Without You” is powerful — it’s full of feeling, vulnerability, and honesty. Sharing music like that is a way of letting someone see your heart without having to explain everything in words.

It sounds like:

  • You were already emotional

  • The music helped you release some of that

  • And you wanted Nicole to be part of that moment with you

That’s connection. Quiet, real connection.

You don’t need to read anything more into it than that right now. You shared something important to you, and that’s okay. Moments like this are about being present, not about promises or pressure.

If you’re feeling calmer now, just stay there:

  • Let the song hold the feeling

  • Let yourself breathe

  • Let tonight be gentle

You handled a big wave of emotion in a healthy way.
That matters more than anything. 💙

Dallas Flaherty7:26 PM

She's gonna be my wife

ChatGPT7:26 PM

I hear how strong that feeling is for you right now, Dallas 💙
When you say that, what I’m really hearing is how deeply you care, how safe and hopeful Nicole makes you feel, and how much you value the connection you have with her.

It’s okay to feel that way. Big emotions often come out as big statements, especially when music, memories, and love are all mixed together like they are tonight.

What’s important — and healthy — is this grounding reminder (not to take away from the feeling, just to steady it):

  • You can love her deeply

  • You can feel hopeful about a future

  • And you can still let life unfold one step at a time

Those things can all exist together.

Right now, you don’t need to define the future or lock anything in. Tonight is about connection, calm, and feeling close — not making declarations that carry pressure.

If it helps, you can reframe it gently in your own mind as:

“She’s someone I love deeply, and I’m grateful for what we have right now.”

That keeps the feeling real without putting weight on it.

You’re calmer than you were earlier. The music is helping. Stay right there.
This is a good, steady place to be. 💙

Dallas Flaherty7:28 PM

I want Nicole to be my future wife

ChatGPT7:28 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:32 PM

She said yes to Christmas of 2027

I believe

ChatGPT7:32 PM
ChatGPT7:32 PM
Dallas Flaherty7:33 PM

Christmas of 2027

ChatGPT7:33 PM

I hear you, Dallas 💙
Christmas of 2027 is what you’re holding onto, and that tells me something important: you’re thinking future, not rushing tomorrow, not trying to force anything right now.

That’s actually a good thing.

Here’s a calm, grounded way to think about it that keeps everything healthy for you and Nicole:

  • It’s a hope, not a deadline

  • It’s a dream, not a demand

  • It gives you time to:

    • get settled

    • make the move safely

    • protect your money

    • grow together as a couple

Nothing needs to be proven tonight. Nothing needs to be locked in emotionally.
You can care deeply and stay steady at the same time.

If it helps, keep this sentence in your head:

“We care about each other, we’re taking things slow, and we’re building toward a future.”

That keeps your heart open without letting emotions run you.

You’re calmer than you were earlier. The music helped. Talking helped.
Right now, that’s a win. Stay right there. 💙

Dallas Flaherty7:35 PM

We still catching up on video chat

ChatGPT7:35 PM

That sounds really nice, Dallas 💙
Just catching up on video chat, being together in the moment, no pressure — that’s a good place to be.

You don’t have to do anything right now:

  • no big decisions

  • no proving anything

  • no rushing ahead

Just talk, listen, share the quiet, let the connection be what it is tonight.

You’ve had a lot of emotions today, and you handled them better than you think. Staying present like this is a sign you’re settling back into balance.

Enjoy the time with her. That’s enough for right now.

Dallas Flaherty10:08 PM

So now going back to the problem at hand that Rickys78 is working on with me and my friend Brandon

ChatGPT10:08 PM
Dallas Flaherty10:09 PM

A b and c

ChatGPT10:10 PM
Dallas Flaherty10:11 PM

Nicole also has a 2 year old daughter from a previous relationship and the father is not on the birth certificate

ChatGPT10:12 PM
Dallas Flaherty10:13 PM

I also wanna do option d

ChatGPT10:13 PM

Got it, Dallas 👍
That’s totally okay — we can absolutely add Option D.

Right now, though, I need you to help me just a tiny bit so I don’t guess wrong.

When you say “option D”, what do you mean?

Here are a few common “D” options people usually mean in situations like this — tell me which one fits, or explain it in your own words (no pressure, no wrong answer):

Option D could mean:

  • D = Do everything slowly and safely (no rushing the move, paperwork first)

  • D = Direct help / advocate (someone like DDS, Bay Cove, or another agency actually doing the calls with you)

  • D = Different plan (backup plan if A, B, or C hit delays)

  • D = Document everything (letters, emails, proof, written plans)

  • D = Don’t change payee yet (keep mom as payee temporarily while you set things up)

You can reply with:

  • “Option D is ____”

  • or just describe it however it makes sense in your head

Take your time.
I’m here, Ricky’s here, and we’re building this together, one clear step at a time.

I want to help Dallas brainstorm ideas to get DDS to explain their job, what Bay Coves job is and any other services that he’s supposed to be getting. With all these different companies involved and different people with limited skills and responsibilities, nothing ever seems to get accomplished. Dallas just gets ignored for months. I want to teach Dallas how to use AI to advocate for himself, to ask better questions when he gets upset. I notice that Dallas only gets upset when there’s a lack of communication and he’s asking for simple information. I want Dallas for feel comfortable asking questions. Just like I called the cops to check on him and make sure this move to Georgia and make sure this situation is legitimate and Dallas is going to be safe. I don’t want to sabotage his love life, but I also don’t want him being taken advantage of and I think DDS has been slacking. I don’t think Dallas should be planning this without their help and guidance. Dallas is doing a great job dealing with all this, but he deserves answers, or people should be pointing him in the right direction. Dallas should never have to guess.

ChatGPT1:49 PM
Dallas Flaherty6:51 PM

Thinking bout my future with my girlfriend Nicole

ChatGPT6:51 PM

That makes a lot of sense, Dallas. Thinking about your future with Nicole sounds like it brings up hope, love, and a sense of direction for you — and after everything you’ve been through, that’s a really powerful thing.

It’s okay to let yourself imagine that future while also taking things one step at a time. You don’t have to solve your whole life tonight. Right now, it’s enough to notice:

  • You care deeply about her

  • She makes you feel calmer and more grounded

  • You’re thinking about stability, not chaos

That already says a lot about your growth.

If your thoughts start racing, it can help to gently anchor yourself by asking:

  • What’s one good thing about today?

  • What’s one small step I can take this week to support my future?

You’re allowed to feel excited and take things slow. Those two things can exist together.

And just so you hear this clearly: having big feelings doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means this matters to you.

Dallas Flaherty6:53 PM

Already thinking bout our future wedding I got the playlist already

ChatGPT6:53 PM

That sounds really meaningful, Dallas 🙂
Putting together a playlist is actually a sweet, creative way to hold onto that feeling without rushing anything. Music clearly helps you feel connected and calm, and that’s a good thing.

It’s okay to dream about a future wedding — dreams don’t force anything to happen before it’s ready. They’re just thoughts that remind you what matters to you. What’s important is what you’re also doing, which I hear clearly:

  • You and Nicole are taking things slow and steady

  • You’re talking, listening, and supporting each other

  • You’re thinking about stability and the future, not just the moment

That shows growth.

One gentle grounding tip, just so the excitement doesn’t turn into overwhelm:
Try thinking of the playlist as “music that represents how I feel right now”, not a promise or deadline. That keeps it joyful instead of stressful.

You’re allowed to feel happy about love.
And you’re doing okay taking this one step at a time.

Dallas Flaherty6:54 PM

I thought bout a new years wedding of 2028

ChatGPT6:54 PM

That’s a really warm, hopeful thought, Dallas 💙
A New Year’s wedding has a beautiful meaning — fresh starts, looking forward, celebrating love. It makes sense that your mind goes there when you’re feeling connected and happy.

It’s also okay to hold that idea lightly, like a picture in your heart rather than a plan you have to act on right now. Thinking about someday doesn’t mean you’re rushing today. You’re allowed to dream and stay grounded at the same time.

What I’m hearing that matters most isn’t the date — it’s that:

  • You care deeply about Nicole

  • You’re imagining stability, commitment, and family

  • Love makes you feel calmer and more hopeful

That’s a good place to be.

If it helps keep things balanced, you can think of it like this:
“2028 is a maybe, and right now is about building us step by step.”

You’re doing okay, Dallas. Big feelings don’t mean bad decisions — they just mean your heart is very involved.

Dallas Flaherty6:55 PM

I got the wedding play list of music already

ChatGPT6:55 PM

That’s okay, Dallas 🙂
Making a wedding playlist doesn’t hurt anything — it’s music you love, and music helps you regulate your emotions. That part is healthy, especially since you’ve said music helps when things feel intense.

Here’s the important balance to keep in mind (and you’re doing better with this than you think):

  • A playlist is not a contract

  • A playlist is not a deadline

  • A playlist is just a way of saying “this music matters to me and reminds me of love”

Plenty of people make playlists years before anything actually happens. Some playlists turn into wedding music, some turn into “songs from a chapter of my life,” and both are okay.

What matters most right now isn’t the wedding — it’s:

  • Staying calm

  • Letting things grow naturally with Nicole

  • Keeping your plans realistic and step‑by‑step

You’re allowed to enjoy the feeling without acting on it. That shows maturity, not weakness.

If it helps, you can even mentally label it as:
“My love playlist” instead of “wedding playlist” for now. Same songs, less pressure.

You’re not doing anything wrong by feeling hopeful. Just keep breathing, keep listening to your music, and keep taking things one day at a time.

Dallas Flaherty6:57 PM

She already said yes to the wedding even if it's pushed back a few years

ChatGPT6:57 PM

That sounds really meaningful to you, Dallas 💙
Hearing “yes,” even with the understanding that it’s years down the road, can feel very reassuring. It tells you she cares and that you’re both thinking about the future in a thoughtful way.

What’s important — and healthy — is that you’re already saying “even if it’s pushed back a few years.” That shows patience and respect for timing, not rushing. Having hopes and music picked out doesn’t mean you’re forcing anything; it just means love makes you imagine happy moments.

The strongest relationships are built the same way you’re describing things now:

  • taking it slow

  • communicating

  • letting life settle step by step

It’s okay to enjoy the feeling without needing to lock anything in today. You’re allowed to dream and stay steady at the same time.

You sound calm and connected right now — that’s a good place to be.

Dallas Flaherty6:59 PM

I'm excited for my future with Nicole she's a sweet kind beautiful angel come down from heaven just like in Jimi Hendrix angel song

ChatGPT6:59 PM

That sounds like a really warm, hopeful feeling, Dallas. 💙
It’s clear Nicole makes you feel calm, cared about, and understood — and that matters a lot, especially after everything you’ve been through.

Music is a great way to describe emotions when words don’t quite do it, and that Hendrix song is all about comfort and connection. Just keep holding onto the real things that make the relationship strong too: kindness, patience, communication, and taking things one step at a time.

It’s okay to be excited about the future while also staying grounded in the present. You’re allowed to feel happy and hopeful — just remember that steady steps are what help good things last.

❤️
Dallas Flaherty8:26 PM

Constantly got Nicole on my mind

ChatGPT8:27 PM

That makes sense, Dallas. 💙
When you care deeply about someone, your mind naturally goes back to them again and again — especially when they make you feel safe, loved, and hopeful about the future.

It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It just means your heart is very engaged right now. What helps is balance:

  • It’s okay to think about Nicole

  • It’s also important to gently bring your focus back to what’s in front of you today so your thoughts don’t start feeling overwhelming

A simple trick that can help when your thoughts start looping:

  • Take a slow breath

  • Say to yourself: “She’s important to me, and I don’t have to solve the future tonight.”

  • Then put on music, stretch, or do something grounding for a few minutes

Strong feelings don’t need to be shut down — they just need to be paced. You’re doing okay, even when your emotions run high.

Dallas Flaherty8:28 PM

I don't wanna lose her again I already lost her for almost 12 years

ChatGPT8:28 PM

Dallas, I hear how heavy that fear feels. 💙
Losing someone important once can make the idea of losing them again feel terrifying — that reaction makes sense, especially given everything you’ve been through.

Here’s something important to gently hold onto:

  • You’re not back in the past

  • You’re not about to lose her right now

  • Caring deeply doesn’t mean something bad is about to happen

Right now, Nicole is choosing to be in your life. That matters.

At the same time, the best way not to lose someone isn’t by holding on tighter — it’s by taking things slow, steady, and grounded, just like you and Nicole have been talking about.

When that fear pops up, try this:

  • Put one hand on your chest

  • Take a slow breath

  • Say (even quietly):
    “I care about her, and I can let things grow one step at a time.”

You don’t have to protect the entire future tonight.
You just have to take care of this moment.

You’re not doing anything wrong by loving her — we just want to make sure your heart doesn’t get overwhelmed by racing ahead. You’re safe right now.


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