2015 Another Collapse

In the summer before I actually tried to kill myself I did go to Baystate and I went to the emergency room and they let me go the same night they didn't even keep me or do any blood work. At baystate in Springfield my ex-wife had brought me



Attorneys John Nolan and Elaine Pourinski both agreed that my evidence was
more than enough to clear my name of any wrong doing. attorney Nolan had to excuse himself
 because of his friendship with ADA Katherine Johnston and it being a case she was involved in.
Attorney Pourinski even had an investigator corroborate everything I'd said in my previous statements in a 2015 meeting.
he even questioned me as to why i paid for the window, while we were all in her office. 
I told them that on 5-19-2014 Edward Kavari told me since the shop manager won't give me copies or write a statement, 
about the window( because he was worried he'd never get paid for it), he suggested that i should pay for it, 
then no one can argue restitution, because there is none. i also told ADA Kavari about the ombudsman Judy saying
that i can call while in the court room and she'll just tell Judge Hadley himself that Kishana's r5 was accessed  
1-16-2013 at 2:49 and she can name the officer, that way i won't break any privacy 
laws, even though there's nothing private about it. it's just an officer name a time and a license plate number.
I never got to talk to Mr Kavari after i was able to save enough to pay for the
 window, i wasn't able to inform Kavari or ADA Johnston when i returned to court on 6-13-2014 when i was finally 
able to afford what i thought was $311.51, that the receipt was also a fake.
the investigator was able to confirm that $245.94 was the amount submitted to the insurance company.
The investigator even confirmed that i went back to the window repair company and annoyed the 
manager after discovering the fake receipt and different total. ( at this point i was unaware of the fake court order, 
and even when i first received the forgery court date, i thought it was because i found out someone altered my 
notarized statement deleting pages and electronically forging my signature. so i kept looking for more evidence to prove
Kishana and the officers were hiding something. i reported my statement being altered to John Gay 5-22-2014, my 
file had been missing for some time at this point, i kept trying to get audio of judge Hadley telling
 me my jury had been sent home by accident,
so i was regularly calling the court house and asking Paul in the office if he had any luck finding  that part of the audio
 from the day of my trial or if judge Hadley's ruling had come back on my motion for new trial)
 I went down to the court house 6-13-2014 after paying for the window with all the paperwork 
the manager gave me and a statement he wrote stating Kishana never returned to pay for the 
window and didn't have insurance at the time of the accident. 
I tried to talk to ADA Edward Kavari or Katherine Johnston, I wanted to show 
someone in the ADA's office what i had found, but they both unavailable. 
this time while i was there, I was able to obtain a photo of the original receipt, someone in the office finally 
let me see physically the receipt on the counter ( instead of just telling me about it as had been the case for a year),
but they still didn't feel safe giving me a physical copy.  
In the photo you can see the fake receipt has a red paid for stamp and a date. at this point i know everyone at the court house heard
me run my mouth as to what i had discovered. so of course i 
wanted to know why the amount on the receipt the auto glass guy gave me and the one that ADA Katherine presented to
 Judge Hadley was different than the one i had just paid for. 
so I went back the net day because the manager wasn't in the shop when i drove by.
Needless to say, i probably didn't sound very polite when i asked why he gave Kishana a paid for receipt
if she didn't pay for it, i wanted to know why he increased the amount of her receipt and . I'm pretty sure
this is where i wore out my welcome. the Auto glass guy said he never gave me a price, i only asked if she
paid for it and if i could pay for it and then ran off after i paid for it before he could say anything. 
he told me he already deposited it and aske me to leave. i tried to get him to write another statement and
he kindly told me he was a religious man and thought i needed to let this go. that was the last i spoke with him


The investigator even confirmed no one went back to the window company to ask about or pay for the window
 after i reported it down at the court house.


i believe those superior court judges, their prosecutor and my appointment attorney Elaine Pourinski
showed depraved indifference to my plight.
they all took advantage of the fact that i was in and out of the hospital for multiple suicide attempts.

My health took a turn for the worst the end of sept 2015, i started to grow breasts from the medication i was given
by drs, i still hadn't been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism at this point. i was taking medication for issues i was 
misdiagnosed with, then i spent time in the psych ward for a suicide attempt from cutting myself.

during this rough time my attorney Elaine Pourinski said the prosecutor made an offer of a cwof and that if i accept
 this, my previous guilty finding would be changed to a cwof as well and since it was over a year, would 
automatically be off my record. but i had to agree not to present the window receipt against Kishana 
and not to pursue any civil actions against any officers involved. i agreed due to my health issues.
December 2015 i again suffered some sort of nervous breakdown for no reason and attempted suicide again by swallowing
hundred upon hundreds of all the depression/bipolar medication i was prescribed. i have very little memory of 
my time in the psych ward this time,  next thing i remember it's Christmas eve and I'm no longer in the psych ward.


12 days later Jan 5-2016 rolls around and the judge doesn't agree to the terms of the cwof.
  
i still wanted to fight the charge and was still willing, then Jan 19-2016 i suffer another 
mental break down for no apparent reason. i can recall putting a bed against the door and then trying 
to strangle myself with a sheet wrapped twisted around my neck as tight as i could 
get it, i leave the psych ward Jan 25-2016, i had another meeting with my
attorney elaine Pourinski before my trial date of Feb. 5-2016 11 days later. before this meeting, in the hallway 
outside her office in Northampton, an older white male placed a hammerless revolver to my forehead and warned me
not to move forward with my evidence. i was told to plead guilty.
I informed my attorney after the incident and she said there was nothing she could do to help me, i was
 still stubborn and wanted to fight the charges and she kept telling me how afraid she was not 
just for herself and her family, but for my safety and my families.
i didn't want to plead guilty, i was made to feel i had to plead guilty, that i didn't have a 
choice. i was told by my attorney the first judge knew about the fake receipt Kishana supposedly
 produced and about the police tampering with their reports,
which the state police also proved for me. i felt so sick and didn't have anything in me after this last psych 
ward stay, less than 2 weeks earlier and with the thought of having that gun to my head so fresh in my sick mind. 
i plead guilty.
come to find out, i had undiagnosed hyperthyroidism all my life. blood test from jan 2016 -march 2016 can confirm
even when i tried to kill myself back in 2005 can be tied to 
an episode of severe reaction to hyperthyroidism and a past blood test that was over looked proves it.
 since i was on workers comp at the time of the accident and 
for a short time after my first trial 2013,
i was able to get a closed period disability payment for the time that i called to sign up for, this was right after i got 
off of workers comp.

then i discovered the reason for officers Sheehan's comment about my tightening up while being arrested,
after being forced to stand around for over half hour in the cold with improper attire. 
turns out i have a untreatable, incurable genetic skeletal muscle disorder, not only was i right about having a problem,
it was even worse than i could've imagined.
i tried to keep working after that, but kept needing surgeries and couldn't take time off,  i had to work with casts on.
i got sick physically from all of that and filed for permanent disability and wasn't even allowed to complain about all my issues and they
cold kill me, before the judge stopped me and told me not to worry about it and i would be getting permanent disability.

September noticed breast tissue forming 


I started working again for advantage in September or October while I was dealing with this court stuff. And yet stressed me out so much that that's when I tried to commit suicide for the first time in October. 

Barely holding it together, dad said monkey could do my job while we were talking in his kitchen. I felt lucky to even have a job and felt super low energy

I tried to commit suicide again in December and this time the doctors just released me and didn't even keep me for the full three days that they were required by law and I'm pretty sure I don't know I have to check my blood work they might have known I had hyperthyroidism then

Link to BHN mental health records for 2014-2015

https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/06/2014-2015-behavioral-health-network.html

Link to Bay State Mental Health Records 2015-2016

https://rickystebbins78.blogspot.com/2025/06/2015-2016-bay-state-medical-records.html

Medications for the year.





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